Friday, August 31, 2012

DUmmies Already Making Excuses For Election Loss


Well, it seems like some DUmmies have seen the handwriting on the wall and are already coming up with excuses for Obama losing in November. So what are their excuses? The usual suspects as you can see in this THREAD, "Why the Republicans could win big this year." You have seen it all before. Of course, DUmmies can never accept the REAL reason for an election loss. This is why the mental meltdown in DUmmieland in the event the Bamster loses could be monumental. The highest DUmmie meltdown ever which is really saying something. So let us watch the DUmmies line up their usual excuses in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, getting his popcorn and pizza stockpiled for election night entertainment, is in the [barackets]:

Why the Republicans could win big this year 

[Diebold. Need I say more?]

Why? Through cheating of course. Conservatives could never win in a free and fair election. They know that. So they will cheat. A lot. Here's how: 

[Prepare the leather restraining straps for DUmmie Glaisne on election night when he goes completely BERSERK.]

e 1. Voter ID Laws. These are being pursued by many states which are designed specifically to disenfranchise students, elderly, minorities, and the poor. 

[Yes, such a pity that they can't afford FREE photo ID.]

2. Purging Voter Rolls. Theses activities being pursued by such states as Florida, Texas, and Pennsylvania are using bad data and faulty pretexts to throw hundreds of thousands of legitimate voters off the voter rolls. 

[Sniff! Thousands of legitimate dead votes will be purged from the voter rolls. Zombies ARISE!!!]

3. Partisan Election Officials. Too many election officials in charge of the day to day running of the election are republican operatives and party supporters. Their actions include reducing early voting and reducing hours the polls are open. They are an obstruction to free and fair elections. 

[Yes, shame on them for closing the polls at the time they are legally required to do so.]

4. Direct Voter Suppression. Right wing tea bagger groups like True the Vote will be sending poll watchers to minority and poor dominated precincts with the specific aim to intimidate and interfere with voting by minorities and the poor. Other actions that will occur, especially in swing states, that have been done in the past include illegal police road blocks on roads leading to polling places, too few voting machines in democratic districts, a preponderance of broken and malfunctioning voting machines located at democratic districts. 

[Perhaps we need more of those Philly Black Panthers to act as poll watchers as they did in 2008.]

5. Electronic Voting Machines. Easily hacked and manipulated proprietary electronic voting machines are owned and maintained by companies with known support for republican candidates. These machines have been proven multiple times to be easily hacked and have provided unusual and unexpected results in many races. The companies have resisted investigation by claiming their machines are proprietary, which is a problem for fair and free elections. 

[Your voting machine is already set on "R."]

6. Unregulated and unlimited propaganda in campaigns through so called social welfare super pacs thanks to Citizens United. 

[DAMN YOU FIRST AMENDMENT!!!]

This means even greater effort on our part to get out the vote and register new voters. Do not underestimate the other side. They are motivated, disciplined, and are cheating! 

[How can they already be cheating if the vote hasn't even started yet? And now onb to the other DUmmies lining up their November excuses...]

You may be right, but we heard the same things in 2008. 

[Yes, isn't it strange how all this Republican "cheating" failed so miserably that year?]

They've made HUGE STRIDES in 4 years. 10% here, 10% there -- in just one or two swing states (it's already happening in Florida and PA) . . . 

[Practice makes perfect.]

Scares the bejeeezus out of me. Our side needs to be in the streets making noise about this. 

[Let the flatulent eruptions begin!]

I used an interactive electoral college map the other day. If you give Romney all of the states that he hold a >5% lead and you add in PA for the Voter ID laws, Florida for the voter purge, Wisconsin for the Voter ID laws, and Ohio for the Voting Machines. This gives Rmoney 268. All he would need to do is carry Virginia or North Carolina. Some scary stuff in my opinion. 

[Would you like me to send you a coupon for a FREE heavy doody Depends?]

These are all the reasons why we are no longer a Democracy... 

[On November 7 we shall send you a notice on which Walmart Detention Center to report to.]

Wednesday, August 29, 2012

DUmmies not too keen on Ann Romney's speech


By all accounts, Ann Romney gave a terrific speech last night. Well, maybe not by ALL accounts. It did not go over too well in DUmmieland. While Ann was speaking about love, the feeling was not exactly mutual. Witness this THREAD by DUmmie Aviation Pro, the elegantly titled "F*** Off...." Of course, the original has the letters instead of the asterisks. In fact, you may want to track the number of asterisks in this DUFU. It may set a record.

So let us monitor the DUmmie F*** Off Focus Group, in Bolshevik Red, while the commentary of your humble guest correspondent, Charles Henrickson, wondering if Butch Maddow and MSDNC will continue their racist policy of not showing minority Republican speakers, is in the [brackets]:

F*** Off....

[DUmmie Aviation Pro, to whom are you addressing this request? Please tell us.]

...Horsey WifeTM

["Horsey Wife"--now who could that be? Sarah Jessica Parker? No, I know! You are referring to Ann Romney, who happens to own a horse! Oh, that's so clever!]

you have a fake f***ing marriage that is unknown to 99.999998% of the married couples who struggle on a daily basis to make ends meet and to raise their children under circumstances that literally tear them down and often tear them apart.

[Apparently Ann is part of the 0.000002% who have never had any struggles. I guess helping your husband as he works his way up, raising a bunch of kids, getting MS and breast cancer--those don't count as real struggles to DUmmie Aviation Pro.]

You are a f***ing byproduct of being in the right place at the right f***ing time to latch on to 'catch' like Lurch the F***ing StiffTM and nothing more as the unrelatable, 'kept' wifey that you are.

[Not only is Ann Romney "Horsey Wife," she is also "Kept Wifey." How about "Corporation Wife"? You want to throw that in there too, like Juan Williams did? Now remind me: Which party is it that has the War on Women?]

As for the Sons of CowardiceTM screaming on a rainy night, try finding an emergency room at three-o-f***ing-clock in the f***ing morning because your son is running a fever of 105° and you're scared to f***ing death that he might go into shock on the 30 mile drive to the hospital as you try and calm his hysterical sister at the same time.

[I think we are now up to eight (8) "F" words in these first couple sentences.]

YOU PEOPLE F***ING DISGUST ME WITH YOUR LIES AND FALSEHOODS, YOU F***ING WALKING WAD OF USED SH*T PAPER

[I take it you didn't like the speech.]

After the President buries your f***ing Stiff I suggest you roll up your f***ing extended brood and sail off to whatever island rock you choose to buy where you can live out your f***ing life eating f***ing cake.

[This from a guy who undoubtedly supported Thurston Kerry III and Lovey in 2004.]

Go f*** yourself, you f***ing asshat. Oh, wait, you did last night.

[Sixteen "F" words and one "Sh*t" in six sentences. You get the gold medal in the F***athlon, Aviation Pro. You should be proud of yourself. Now let's hear from your colleagues . . .]

A worthy rant!

[We are not worthy!]

Hear Hear!!

[Hear the "F" words!]

Wow.

[Unlike Ann Romney, Aviation Pro is getting rave reviews!]

F***in' A!

[Listen, DUmmie Lint Head, you CANNOT keep up with Aviation Pro in the profanity department! He is a Profanation Pro!]

I think you have been unforgivably polite.

[Needs more "F" words!]

BraVO!!! There should be a "standing ovation" emoticon.

[The plaudits keep pouring in!]

An outstanding DU moment!

[It was DUmmie Discourse at its finest! (DUmmie Diss-curse?)]

This is a deservedly, proper reaction to the shite in the big fat MF, goprick, club for LIARS.

[DUmmie Cha approves this message.]

REALLY? THIS thread is a great DU moment and worthy of being recommended?

[DUmmie renie408, you sound like you have some doubts. Do go on . . .]

Cause, personally, it looks to me like something a sixth grader would write.

[Oh, please, you give Aviation Pro too much credit! Maybe a sixth-grader with Tourette's Syndrome, I suppose, but. . . .]

Maybe I am just not cool enough or something, but the ability to say the word F*** repeatedly with zero actual content doesn't exactly highlight our superiority over our opponents. . . . THIS crap is just fine? Yeah, I know this makes me proud to be a member here.

[DUmmie renie408, I hereby award you today's Kewpie Doll for this Brief Moment of Mental Clarity™. Congratulations! And prepare for tombstoning.]

I'm with you. This rant will probably be all over FR as an example of "hate speech from the Left."

[DUmmie oldhippie, I perceive that you are a prophet.]

And who really cares what those f***ing @sswipes think? Not me.

[We gather that, Bloviation Pro.]

You seem angry.

[Democratic Understatement.]

there's something about Ann's face that repulses me.

[She's a Repulsican.]

She is pathetic and cruel.

[Irony Alert!]

F*** off.

[DUmmie TheDonkey joins in the FUn and gives Ann what for!]

Love it.

[Love the hate! Love the War on Republican Women! Just love it!!]

Monday, August 27, 2012

"Weird episode with, I can almost assure you, was a right winger"


The Rethuglican War on Women gets personal in this bouncy THREAD by DUmmie Aerows, "Weird episode with, I can almost assure you, was a right winger." Indeed, it was a clear case of Sexual Harrassment, and DUmmie Aerows gets hot under the color!

So let us enter the hyper-sensitive world where every woman is a victim, every man is a creep, and every creep is a right-winger, i.e., DUmmieland, in Bolshevik Red, while the commentary of your humble guest correspondent, Charles Henrickson, predicting that the Democrat Convention will paint the Rethuglicans as "The Party of Akin," is in the [brackets]:

Weird episode with, I can almost assure you, was a right winger

[I can ALMOST assure you . . . well . . . I really have no idea . . . but I'll blame the right-wingers anyway.]

[BTW, DUmmie Aerows later updated her thread title to . . .]

Weird episode of Sexual Harrassment in Walmart

[Help! I'm a victim!]

I was in Wal-Mart. . . .

[You were in Wal-Mart???? How COULD you?? BTW, did you see the detention center in the basement?]

please go ahead and roast me, but there really aren't any other places here to get deli meat. I was getting my smoked honey turkey. . . .

[You went to Wal-Mart--that's bad enough--and then you bought MEAT?? We're ready to roast and smoke you, honey! You turkey!]

my mother was getting her cinnamon buns.

[They have a place in Wal-Mart where they do that now? Is that like bikini waxing?]

This man next to me mentions "I never imagined that Sunday would be the busiest day in here."

[Whoa! An obvious pick-up line! That sexist creep!]

I, of course, shop on Sundays. . . .

[Of course. God forbid you go to church.]

and offered, "yes, it's always busy on Sundays. You work all week, Saturday is housecleaning day, then you shop on Sunday."

[You tell him, girl! No means no! Back off, creep!]

At that point this weirdo leaned in and adjusted the color on my shirt. . . .

[What about the tint and contrast? Did he adjust those too?]

grazing both the necklace on my neck, and my neck.

[So the guy perhaps instinctively and innocently makes a little helpful move to fix your cockeyed collar, and he accidentally comes in contact with your necklace--and you're ready to assume the worst, like he's some stalker type! OK, maybe he was flirting with you a bit. Or . . . maybe you're reading too much into this. Alright, maybe even we grant you he shouldn't have touched your collar. But does that mean therefore that he's a right-winger?? Ever heard of a guy named Clinton?]

My mother arrived from the donut counter and took over. . . .

["Donut touch my daughter's color!"}

asking me to go look for a chicken for dinner.

[Mom is a chicken-winger.]

She knew the dude had creeped me out completely.
[How do you know the dude wasn't a DUde?]

My mother saved me from this icky person by sending me for a chicken. . . .


Right there at the deli counter.

[It was a deli cut situation.]

EDIT: I updated the thread to reflect that it was Sexual Harassment to take the political element out of it, because it could probably happen to any woman, anywhere, regardless of political stripe.

[So the WOMAN could be of any political stripe, but the man must still be a right-winger??]

It truly creeped me out and considering the Republican ideas about women. . . .

[There it is. He must be a right-winger.]

I was so glad to have my mother with me, and was scared all the way into the parking lot.

[The DUmmies now commiserate with the quivering Aerows . . .]

I go ahead and give people dirty looks at the grocery store when I feel they deserved it.

[How can they tell the difference from your regular looks?]

I wonder... could it be that you look young? . . . A huge part of getting harrassed and disrespected is looking young.

[Maybe THAT'S it, DUmmie Aerows. People naturally want to adjust the collars of the young.]

I'm petite, feminine and blond. . . .

[In reality, "petite, feminine and blond" DUmmie Aerows is probably some guy sitting in his basement who looks like this . . .]


I am also approaching 40. . . . I am a blond, feminine lesbian. . . .

[A lesbian posting in DUmmieland! What a surprise! But a "feminine lesbian"?? I thought that was only in the movies.]

right there at the deli counter.

[Right in front of the tu-- Nope! Too easy!]

Strictly speaking, This might be considered assault.

[Assault with intent to straighten a collar.]

What makes you sure he was right wing?

[The fact that you would even ASK such a question, that you would doubt for a moment that he was--this must mean that YOU TOO are a right-wing creep! LOUSY CREEPER TROLL!!!]

As soon as he touched you, you should have dialed 911.

[What's the number again for 911? I forget.]

When someone is assaulted, there are three possible ways of reacting, fight, flight or freeze.

[What about when someone's collar is adjusted? Do you a) go over to the chicken department, b) mess up your collar again, or c) whine about it on DU?]

I was so tired this morning. it was 9 am, and lest that seem like a late morning, I was dressed and doing things.

[Maybe that's how your collar got messed up, DUmmie Aerows.]

Yesterday, I replaced about 15 lightbulbs on a ladder. . . .

[How many lightbulbs does it take for a DUmmie to replace on a ladder?]

I kind of was just stunned.

[I was hoping a WOMAN would adjust my collar.]

I can't promise to do less in my life and stop drinking less unsweetened, decaffeinated iced tea, the best beverage in the world.

[Ah, so you're a teabagger, are you?]

I am a rather petite woman that loves other women . . .

[. . . to adjust my collar.]

Do they sell hot pepper spray at Mal-Wart?

[I don't think that goes too well on smoked turkey.]

where do they get the idea they can do it? YOU LET HIM DO IT!

[I thought only Rethuglicans blamed the victim. I guess not.]

STAND UP FOR YOURSELF

[GET TOUGH, CREAM PUFF!]

Apply your knee to his crotch, vigorously and immediately.

[What every woman in DUmmieland would love to do to every man in the world.]

And you DIDN'T SLAP HIM because?!

[Maybe because slapping someone just because they fixed your collar for you could be looked at askance. Just a thought.]

It is a little weird but I think you're overreacting.

[FINALLY somebody comes up with this very real possibility!]

He didn't touch you in an inappropriate place, nor did he say or do anything to make you think he had inappropriate intentions.

[DUmmie cbdo2007, please go over to the Kewpie Doll aisle and pick one out!]

"adjusting my collar" is NOT appropriate contact. . . .

[OK, OK, we GET it, DUmmie Aerows! It is possible the guy did cross the boundary, whether intentionally or unintentionally. We don't know, we weren't there. But you go on and on and on, making yourself out to be a victim, over what COULD have been just a well-meaning assist (or poorly done innocent flirting), and you have everyone giving you advice about knees to the groin and pepper-spraying the guy in the face and yelling in the store, and MAYBE all the guy wanted to do was fix your collar! And what's more, you ASSUME the guy must have been a right-winger!]

"Color" or "Collar?" When I first read that post, I thought the creep had thrown up all over your shirt.

[He IS a Repuke, you know.]

He got the idea that he could do that because you didn't elbow him in the face.

[Just to be safe, elbow every man who talks to you in the face. That'll make them think twice about adjusting your collar.]

If Sandra Bullock adjusted my collar, I wouldn't care.

[Sorry, DUmmie lumberjack jeff, only one Kewpie Doll per thread.]

- - - - - - - - - -

POSTSCRIPT:

As a gentleman, I do not believe in being too familiar with strange women--and the DUmmie women are definitely strange! And as a Swede, one of God's frozen people--well, we don't do a lot of public touching. So I probably wouldn't fix a woman's collar without her permission. But I can't say that every guy who would is some evil stalker! And even if he is a creep, I certainly wouldn't assume it's because he's a Republican!

Exhibit A: May I introduce to you the Man from Grope, the Comeback Id . . . the man who doesn't just TALK about rape, he DOES it . . . ladies and gentlemen, one of the main speakers at the upcoming DEMOCRAT Convention . . . Mr. Bill Clinton!

Monday, August 20, 2012

DUmmies & Kommies Go Berserk Over Obama Newsweek Cover


Remember when Frodo Baggins tossed the ring of power into the flames of Mt. Doom? That is what Niall Ferguson did when he wrote the Newsweek cover story, "Hit The Road, Barack." The hysterical reaction of the DUmmies and KOmmies to that Newsweek cover reminds me of the Eye of Sauron as it began tumpling down. The Armies of Sauron still haven't been destroyed. For that we have to wait until November but in the meantime it is FUn to observe the disorientation of the tumbling DUmmies and KOmmies. So upset were the DUmmies by that Newsweek cover that they have not one but MANY threads on this topic including Newsweek Cover-- WTF? and Newsweek goes negative on Obama: 'Hit The Road, Barack'. Also going berserk are the KOmmies as you can see in Newsweek Magazine Needs to Be Put out of Business Permanently. So let us now watch the DUmmies and KOmmies both go berserk in Bolsevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, noting that if Peter Jackson had cast James Carville as the Gollum no CGI effects would have been needed for that character, is in the [barackets]:

Newsweek Cover-- WTF? 

[A DUmmie shocked when he discovered it wasn't a National Review cover.]

Someone tell me this tripe is a spoof. Is it April Fool's Day already?? 

[Your next April Fools date will arrive on Nov. 6. And now on to the other outraged DUmmies.]

There is a reason Newsweek was sold for a dollar. 

[Because the seller didn't have change for a quarter.]

what i need to know a f*ckin' limey who knows nothing about America telling us we need to change presidents. FU 

[Million of Americans are no limeys and they are telling you the same thing.]

can the DOJ ban the cover. Stop the circulation as its not honest

[Mr. First Amendment giving vent to his inner totalitarian.]

Can the DOJ do that? 

[Of course as long as it's the Holder DOJ. First Amendment, Second Amendment are no barriers to them.]

Ban them or fine them 

[The "libertarian" DUmmies favor merely fining them.]

wouldn't the Fairness Doctrine be something that might apply in this case? 

[Of course since we all know that not only wasn't the Fairness Doctrine not repealed about 25 years ago but Newsweek is delivered over the airwaves.]

There are trolls on DU? 

[Not Indiana Green. Indiana Green is NOT a LOUSY FREEPER TROLL!!! Got that?]

we might lose because of a lie! 

[Take two enemas and see the shrink in the morning.]

Niall Ferguson is an atheist 

[Whew! What a relief. I thought he was either a heretic Wiccan or a goddess Gaia fundy. ...And now on to the other DUmmie thread, Newsweek goes negative on Obama: 'Hit The Road, Barack'.]

Newsweek goes negative on Obama: 'Hit The Road, Barack' 

[And DON'T ever come back, come back, come back.]

Niall Ferguson's piece is on the Newsweek cover 

[Don't look at it directly without a protective dark lens.]

F*cking disrespectful! Who is this piece of shit writing this pile of garbage? Arrrrrgh! I think I've had my fill of outrage for the next month - and that was just from crap I've read in the past hour. F*ck Akins and fuck Ferguson. 

[Arrrrrgh! Disrepectful. Mongo no like!]

It's also somewhat disrespectful to refer to the President by his first name on the cover. 

[This from the same DUmmies that called Bush "Chimpus Khan." And now over to the KOmmie THREAD... ]

Newsweek Magazine Needs to Be Put out of Business Permanently 

[For speaking truthful hurtful things.]

What is worse, Newsweek shamelessly promotes this right-wing smear effort as a substantive analysis, while urging Twitter followers to use a disrespectful hashtag when discussing this piece.
Want to discuss this week's cover story? Use the hashtag #HitTheRoadBarack--just as it appears on the cover.

[Arrrrrgh! Mongo no like Twitter hashtag!]

I guess Newsweek has been paid a nice sum by the Kochs, SuperPACs, Roves, RMoney, etc., so that they feel that losing a few hundred thousand of you people as subscribers won't hurt them. Regardless, this magazine is just extremely disgraceful and disrespectful. Newsweek does not not deserve to be patronized by anyone who is supportive of or plans to vote for this President in November. 

[Arrrrrgh! Mongo no patronize Newsweek! ...And now on to the other KOmmies...]

no way that belongs on the front page. Its opinion not journalism. 

[Except when Newsweek called Obama's critics DUmb on the cover. Then it was journalism according to you.]

Looks like Newsweek is crying out for attention. 

[Looks like KOmmies are just crying.]

Saturday, August 18, 2012

"Red or green?": President Obama tackles the serious questions


On Thursday NBC's Andrea Mitchell asked Obama campaign spokesperson Ben LaBolt: "When is he going to be accessible for questions other than to People magazine and Entertainment Tonight?" LaBolt replied: "I wouldn't assume that, if he's in a local market, that the reporters' questions will be any less serious."

Well, on Friday, President Obama had an interview on a local radio station in New Mexico. As you can hear on this VIDEO, these are some of those "serious questions," along with a couple of the president's answers:

"Our big question is, red or green?" (i.e., chile peppers). The president's answer: "Red--although, every once in a while, green is solid."

Peppering the president with more tough questions: "What's your favorite New Mexican food?" "Now, if we were to visit Chicago, what would you recommend if I wanted to go eat some really good soul food?" "Mr. President, I wanted to know--we're a pop music station--what's your favorite song to work out to?"

Stepping it up a notch: "If you had a superpower, what would it be?" The president's answer: "Uh, you know, I think the whole flying thing is pretty good. Yeah, I mean, you can't beat just kinda swoopin' around."

Finally, on one of the burning issues of our day: "Mr. President, I know your real favorite song has gotta be 'Call Me Maybe.' You can tell us, it's OK."

Whew! Some hard-hitting questions there! Such intense scrutiny from the media! How does this man handle it?

ABC's Devin Dwyer notes: "Obama last took questions from the White House press corps at a news conference during the G20 summit in Chicago in June. His last formal White House news conference was on March 6." Well, look, Devin, the president has been JUST A LITTLE BIT BUSY, hasn't he, these past few months. I mean, checking out the effect of the drought on our nation's golf courses, settling our relations with chile, dealing with a new superpower, helping mentally challenged radio hosts in New Mexico keep their jobs. . . . This is a tall order. You expect him to answer questions on the economy and jobs and the national debt too?? Like, without a teleprompter?? Come on!

As you might expect, the DUmmies and the KOmmies have been avoiding this story. But there is a thread on it on HuffPo, namely, this THREAD, "White House Press Corps Wonders When Obama Will Actually Take Their Questions." We'll find some comments there.

So let us now hear the HUffies defend the president's softball interviews, in Red Hot Chile Pepper Red, while the commentary of your humble guest correspondent, Charles Henrickson, who would like to ask the president one question--"Mr. President, come January, what will be your forwarding address?"--is in the [Barackets]:

I have seen lots of interviews that he has had in recent days. The Washington media is not the only one. I thought the view was he needed to get out of the bubble.

[The president is no longer bubble-ready.]

He IS Superman.

[Faster than a speeding softball . . . More powerful than a local radio show . . . Able to dodge tough questions in a single soundbite . . . Look! Up on the stage! It's a duck! And it's lame! No, it's . . . SWOOPERMAN!]


when they start acting like journalists then he should talk to them.

[That didn't stop him before now.]

Why should Obama take time to answer their questions? He has a busy schedule unlike Romney who spends all his time running around the country and campaigning. . . .

[Yeah! Obama spends all his time running around the country and campaigning PLUS going to Hollywood fundraisers PLUS playing golf PLUS answering questions about chile peppers from some oafs in New Mexico!]

F 'em, they aren't truth tellers and they aren't real journalists.

[Yes, we know that. And they're mostly Democrat shills. And he won't even take questions from THEM??]

Obama is our sitting President!!

[Now he's our SWOOPIN' President!!]

I say, Go pres Obama, Go, Go. Go.

[That's what I say, too! Go, and never come back!]

Anyone remember just weeks ago when the President did answer questions and was shouted down by the guy from the Daily Caller?

[No, actually, the president WASN'T answering questions, so the guy from the Daily Caller tried to get one in before Mr. Chicken ran away. "Caller Me Maybe" is NOT on his iTunes playlist.]

Well, he won't get to dodge questions during the debates.

[CNN's Candy Crowley: "Mr. President, do you agree with me that Gov. Romney's choice of Paul Ryan looks a little bit like some sort of ticket death wish?"]

Obama is an open book on policy and history.
[An open book with several hundred pages missing.]

The White House Press has a better chance of getting an audience with Honey Boo Boo.

["Miss Boo Boo, what is it that makes you holler?" "A dolla makes me holla, Honey Boo Boo!"]

If I were the President and had a member of the White House press behave so badly, like Neil Munro from . . . The Daily Caller, did...I would let them all sit and wait.

["Mr. President, what makes YOU holler?" "The Daily Calla makes me holla, Honey BO BO!"]

Everyone knows President Obama has never been afraid to answer tough questions.

[Such as these . . .]


"Stop! Who would cross the Bridge of Death must answer me these questions three, ere the other side he see."


"Ask me the questions, bridge-keeper! I'm not afraid."


"What . . . is your name?"


"Mm, mm, mm, Barack Hussein Obama!"


"What . . . is your quest?"


"To radically transform America into a European-style socialist state."


"What . . . is your favorite color chile pepper?"


"Red. . . . No, green!"




Friday, August 17, 2012

DUmmie darkangel218 DUmps her RW BF


You remember Sarah Ibarruri, aka Sarah Ibuprofen? She was the DUmmie who was dating a right-wing boyfriend, and she was very conflicted about it. On the one hand, her boyfriend was smart, had money, and treated Sarah with love and kindness. On the other hand, he had right-wing political views. What to do? What to do??

Well, now we have another DUmmieland damsel in distress. She is DUmmie darkangel218, and she too had fallen for a right-wing boyfriend. I guess it's because we conservative men are all tall, good-looking, employed, with 6% body fat, that all the hippie chicks fall for us. Their prog boys are all such weak widdle wusses. The DUmmie girls simply cannot suppress their Real Inner Woman, which longs for a strong retrosexual male.

Be that as it may, now DUmmie darkangel218 has finally had enough! She is THROUGH with her man! "A Reich-winger? ICK! Patooey! What was I thinking??" DUmmie darkangel218 declares her independence here in this THREAD, the elegantly titled "Today i told my rw bf to f*** off."

So let us now enter the soap opera of non-soap-users, the DUmb and the Restless, in Bolshevik Red, while the commentary of your humble guest correspondent, Charles Henrickson, reminding you that even in DUmmieland there's a lid for every pothead, is in the [brackets]:

Today i told my rw bf to f*** off

[A right-wing boyfriend?? Ick! How did you ever let it get that far in the first place??]

I can't stand his idiocy anymore.

[It's getting in the way of MY idiocy!]

I can't stand his lies and selfishness any longer. Last night I had a bad night, and my idiot half blew me off because he had to listen to Coast to Coast am.

[Let's see, Coast to Coast AM or DUmmie darkangel218 . . . Which would I rather listen to? Which would be more in touch with reality? Hmmm. . . .]

He's a truck driver. . . .

[He's in the DUmp truck now!]

He couldn't even stay on the phone w me on my drive home.

[Just a thought, but maybe it's because he's driving a sixteen-ton truck, and he wants to keep both hands on the wheel.]

Why I'm posting this is not just to vent.

[It's to take applications for a new boyfriend.]

It's to remind everyone to STAY TRUE TO YOURSELF, DON'T BE AFRAID TO BE WHOI YOU ARE, AND CALL OUT HYPOCRISY WHEN YOU SEE IT.

[AND USE CAPS LOCK WHENEVER POSSIBLE.]

I couldn't even put my Obama sticker on my car because of him,.but guess what, from now on it will be covered in them!

[Take THAT, rw x-bf!!]

RWs are all the same, selfish, f up liars! May they rot in hell, if whatever sh*thole rotten souls like theirs will go to!

[Hell hath no fury like a woman unstickered!]

Long live the Democratic Party! Long live Freedom! Long live USA!

[One of these things is not like the others, one of these things is not the same. . . .]

[Now her fellow DUmmies commiserate with darkangel218 . . .]

Glad you did this. . . .

[What were you waiting for??]

Keep the faith, and feel 100,000 Du hugs!

[Ewww! Ick!!]

i had 11 stickers on my car during 2004 election and my republican hubby didnt say a word. as a matter of fact, as often as it was brought up, he would chuckle about my car. and often pointed it out to his buddies.

["Hey, guys! See all those Kerry-Edwards stickers on my wife's car? I let her have those. It keeps her quiet, we all know Kerry's gonna lose anyway, and I get all I want in the sack! C'mon, gimme five!"]

Take a big breath of fresh clean air and yell "I feel good" or what ever makes you smile. Good riddance to the mill stone.

[Free at last! Free at last! Thank Gaia almighty, I'm free at last!]

Maybe you will meet smeone new here on DU. . . .

[DUmmie GreenPartyVoter starts hitting on darkangel218. The line forms in the back, boys!]

So glad to hear this, my sister. . . . Here's hoping you find someone who respects your point of view.

[DUmmie Jack Sprat gets in line.]

Sounds like you made the right decision but you shouldn't be talking on the phone while you drive.

[We may have to report you to the Nanny State, darkangel218.]

I just assumed she was hands free. Democrats are responsible folk.

[IRONY ALERT: This DUmmie, a proponent of safe driving, has an avatar of . . . get this . . . TED KENNEDY!]

I hope he's good and dumped (I'm female. . . .)

[I'll hit on you too, darkangel! This is DUmmieland, after all.]

Coast to Coast was a good one last night

[Is that you, rw x-bf?]

the couple of times I listened it was alien abduction.


["'darkangel218'? An ancient alien, of course. 'darkangel'? Nighttime, coming down from the sky. '218'? The year she first arrived."]

Used to really love C2C when Art Bell hosted.

Fwiw, Art Bell voted for Obama.

[Ask not for whom the Bell polls.]

I loved Art Bell. Such an entertainer!

[He's the Joe Biden of radio!]

STAY TRUE TO YOURSELF

[Do NOT listen to Coast to Coast, darkangel218! Art Bell's not on it anymore! And do not listen to what that Aliens hair guy says about you!]

Sending hugs.

[Sending alien thought beams. . . .]

starting a personal journal/diary always helps!

[Dear diary, Today I put Obama bumper stickers all over my car! I feel so proud of myself! I feel LIBERATED! Tonight I'm going to drive around in my car and talk on my cell phone and show THE WORLD where I stand! Obama 2012, baby! Who needs that lousy old truck driver anyway? I've got my bumper stickers!! Self-hug, d.a.]

A truck driver is exactly the kind of guy that will be screwed under the GOP. I can't understand how people like this can support Republicans.

[I can't IMAGINE how increased oil production, lower fuel prices, and more favorable policies toward business could POSSIBLY help truck drivers!]

Back when I was a dating man, my new girlfriend was always much better than my last one was, so keep that in mind as you ply the darkness of loneliness.

[I think DUmmie madokie would like to ply darkangel.]

I hope you can savor your solitude. It may not last long.

[Take a number!]

GOOD FOR YOU! Ha! I have a RW GF and surprisingly we get along fairly well. We just dont talk politics. IF she acts up when BO gets re-elected... She'll get the boot!

[DUmmie Snoozin, putting the BO in BOOT!]

BE YOU!

[You go, girl! Pile on those stickers! Don't worry, darkangel218, you'll find another boyfriend. Which reminds me . . . What about dateless DUmmie steve2470? He has to ride the bus--he'd appreciate a girl with a car. And he has numbers in his name! A match made in DUmmie heaven!]

Thursday, August 16, 2012

Quirkules Unchained! DUmmies abidin' with Biden!


"Come back here, Ryan! I'm not done with you yet! So you won the first four games. Best five out of nine! I dare ya! Come on, I'm just warming up!"

To a guy in a wheelchair: "Stand up, Chuck! Let 'em see ya! . . . Oh, God love ya, what am I talking about?" To a largely black audience: "They're gonna put y'all back in chains!" While in Virginia: "With you we can win North Carolina again!" While in the 21st century: "Folks, where's it written we cannot lead the world in the 20th century in making automobiles?"

Welcome to Rogaine and Biden's Gaffe-In! It's been one gaffe after another with this guy. And just in the last week, since Paul Ryan was introduced as Romney's VP choice, Hardscrabble Joe has gone into high gear. He's gone from comic relief to complete embarrassment. And this is the buffoon who will have to face the sharp-as-a-tack Ryan in a debate.

So there's been talk lately--mounting--about REPLACING Uncle Joe on the ticket. But that would present a Joe-Barry Peril: It would make Obie look like he's hitting the panic button. So the Democrats are caught between Barack and a Hardscrabble place.

Not among the DUmmies, though! No, they are ALL IN for Screwloose from Scranton! They're abidin' with Biden! In fact, they want to see . . . QUIRKULES UNCHAINED! Witness this THREAD, "Check in if you LOVE Joe Biden."

By the way, we here at DUmmie FUnnies JOIN the DUmmies in not wanting Slo-Jo thrown under the bus. Recall that back in 2007, 2008. in the Democrat primaries, Plugs Biden was our official DUmmie FUnnies ENDORSEE. We KNEW that Crazy Joe would be COMEDY GOLD!

So let us now enter the only place stranger than Joe Biden's brain, namely, the wacky confines of DUmmieland, where the comments are in Bolshevik Red, while the commentary of your humble guest correspendent, Charles Henrickson--wondering if this latest loquaciousness is the fulfillment of Slo-Jo's promise from last year Labor Day, "I am about to be let loose!"--is in the [brackets]:

Check in if you LOVE Joe Biden...

[YES! We here at DUmmie FUnnies LOVE Joe Biden! He is a GIFT! And we love what he'll do for the ticket in November!]

I used to think it was stupid when people said of a candidate, "He's the kind of guy you'd like to have a beer with" as though that was somehow an important part of governance. But just let me say that having a beer with Joe Biden is officially on my bucket list. I love the guy. And, Joe, I'm buying!

[DUmmie Jeff in Milwaukee wants to have a bucket full of beer with Uncle Joe! Hardscrabble all the way! Now, Milwaukee . . . that's in North Carolina, isn't it?]

Biden would be a great guy to know.

[If you're a psychologist.]

Just ask those people who rode the Amtrak to work with him for decades. . . . He's the working-man's real deal.

[He's the rail deal! By the way, how many working-men can afford that Wilmington-Washington train fare for decades?]

I could see him as president one day.

[OK, one day, but that's it.]

Haven't had a beer with him, but have been to a ballgame with him.

[That must have been the time when he got hit in the head with the foul ball.]

Would love to sit down and have a beer with both Obama and Biden.

[Beer Summit 2.0. Quaff . . . gaffe . . . quaff . . . gaffe . . . quaff . . .]

love Joe. he is a BFD.

[He is a Big Flubbing Deal.]

Biden is going to tear Ryan to shreds in the debate. . . .

[Pause here for gales of laughter . . . Still laughing . . . On the floor now . . . Rolling . . . My ass has come off now . . . OK, that's better. Please continue . . .]

I thought he was HOT back in the early 1970s. Now I just love him for himself.

[Where's it written he cannot be hot now in the 20th century?]

I still think he's hot.

[How hot is he? He's so hot, Sandra Fluke would pay for her own contraceptives.]

Talk about eye candy!

["Yum! I could just eat him up!" --benburch]

Some of us refer to him as the "Silver Fox". That is one good looking man!

[It's the hair plugs, I think. They look so natural.]

Have loved him since he ran for President the first time.

[Back in, what, the 1870s?]

Checking in! Love Joe! Always have. Always will! K&R!!!!!

[Checking in! Love Joe! R&R!!!!!]

What's not to love about a fundamentally honest and generous person?

[Mr. Generosity there gave a whopping 1.5% of his income in charitable donations last year. But that's up from the 0.3% he gave in 2007.]

If both Joe and Hilary decide to run in the 2016 primaries, I shall be sorely taxed to choose between them.

[If either Joe or Hillary wins in 2016, one thing's for certain: You shall be sorely taxed.]

He just has a way about him. He often has what the Media calls Gaffe when he says what he thinks. That makes him relatable.

[Joe has the gift of gaffe.]

Don't ever let them shut you up, Joe!

[Yes, PUH-LEEZE! TURN JOE LOOSE! TURN JOE LOOSE! TURN JOE LOOSE!]

Talking about shackles... debt is a shackle, it really is. Everyone needs financial freedom.

[LOUSY FREEPER TROLL!!!]

Joe is our secret weapon.

[He's a Human Gaffling Gun!]

he is pretty much Superman as well.

[I think of him more as Mighty Mouth.]

I'm chained to Joe Biden and Barack Obama! and lovin' every minute of it!

[Calm down, ben!]

I hate to break it to you all but, I don't think that Joe drinks beer or any other alcoholic beverages.

[Joe doesn't NEED the silly sauce! He's just that way on his own!]

Fine. I'll buy him a beer and then drink it myself.

[Is that you, Will Pitt?]

Amtrak Joe

[I'm going off the rails on a crazy train. I'm going off the rails on a crazy train. Let's go!]

he's gold.

[He's COMEDY gold!]

I want to have a water fight with him.

[That will be AFTER the mud wrestling, ben.]

Joe "The Hammer" Biden. . . .


Tuesday, August 14, 2012

Savoring Target Ryan / Savaging Privatizer Ryan


"Listen, Granny, finish your Kibbles 'n Bits and get your butt outside! Mitt's waiting in the Rolls. We're gonna strap you on top and take you for a little ride. You know that scenic overlook outside of town? Well, let's just say there's a little surprise in store for you there. . . ."

PAUL F'N RYAN??? WTF WAS RMONEY THINKING?? This is GREAT! We've got it in the BAG! No more worries! Dem landslide in November!! FREUDENSCHADE, BABY!!!!!

That was the initial reaction of the DUmmies to the announcement on Saturday. The DUmmies are SAVORING Target Ryan! When they play the MediScare card, they can put HIS face on it. Rmoney, the "Tax cuts for the rich" guy, teaming up with Ryan, the "Throw Granny off a cliff" guy--what could be easier? Piece of cake.

The DUmmies have been Savaging Privatizer Ryan in a multitude of threads, beginning with this THREAD, "Romney picks Paul Ryan as vice presidential running mate."

So let us now see how the R & R team stirs up our DUmmie Ants, in Rant & Rage Red, while the commentary of your humble guest correspondent, Charles Henrickson, who coincidentally drove by Ryan's hometown of Janseville, Wisconsin, yesterday on the way from St. Louis to vacation here in Door County, is in the [brackets]:

Romney picks Paul Ryan as vice presidential running mate

[YOU'RE F'N KIDDIN' ME!! RYAN?? SWEEEEET!!!!!]

My first thoughts are varied. . . .

[Varied, as in, from JOY to DELIGHT to WHEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!]

Scared because it does energize the Republican base. . . . Scared because that scary guy would get into the W.H. if Romney wins.

[Wait, quiet! You're not supposed to say that!]

Ryan is a target rich environment.

[THAT'S more like it! Savoring Target Ryan!]

This is Beautiful.. Obama is a Lock Now

[A lock and a half! No need to campaign any further! Freudenschade, baby!]

Paul Ryan is the exact arsehole Obama/Biden have been hoping for. He's hideous.. more so than even Rmoney himself.

[Yes, it should be EASY PICKIN'S when Uncle Joe takes on Arsehole Ryan in a debate, right? Hardscrabble Joe will make MINCEMEAT of him, right? Can't wait to see it! Hee! Hee!]

Ryan wants to end Medicare!

[MediScare! Oooh, scary!!!]

BUT...I think Ryan's plan would leave Medicare as it is for those over a certain age, so they'd be safe.

[Well, snap! Can't let that fact get out there!]

GAME ON. Romney just put ALL their cards on the table. . . .

[And here are the cards in the DEMOCRATS' hand. They're always the same:
Granny's going over the cliff.
The rich aren't paying their fair share.
Coat hangers and contraceptives.
Theocracy.
The race card.
We Democrats will give you stuff for FREE!]

Rmoney thinks he can make hay w/ the deficit/debt hysteria.. that's one reason he picked meat cleaver-wielding Ryan.

[DUmmie Iggy, aren't you being a little hard on the Cleaver?]

yes it would seem like an easy win for the Obama ticket but remember Walker was elected twice..something Democrats did not expect and perhaps thought the recall would have been an easy victory too.

[Total Non-Recall. But, but, that was Wisconsin. Who cares what hap-- Wait a minute. Wisconsin is one of those "swing states," isn't it? You know, the ones Obama NEEDS?]

OMG. Rmoney really IS that stupid!!!! This should pretty much do it for Rmoney. If people think Rmoney is going to pick up more voters by selecting a candidate that supports trashing Medicare, think again. I can't wait to see the numbers drop.

[Yes, and just because the numbers have NOT dropped, and in fact they're going UP, and Romney and Ryan are drawing HUGH crowds--well, they've GOTTA drop! They've just GOTTA!!]

Rmoney is TOAST

[Obama can COAST!]

There goes Medicare! The press tried so hard to ignore Paul Ryan's two attempts to murder Medicare. . . . Now, Death to Medicare is going to be the official GOP policy.

[Die, Granny, die!]

First mate on the Titanic.

[Aw jeez, not  this ship again!]

Go Bama! 4 More Years!

[4 More Trillion Dollars in Debt!]

The numbnuts running Romney’s campaign have no earthly clue about the sh*tstorm they just triggered.

[A Perfect Romneyan Sh*tstorm. This will make life EASY for Team Obama! Heck, the President can just take some time off and go play golf! Wait, isn't that what he does anyway??]

Rachel was on MTP this morning. She said a Democratic consultant told her the if Ryan was the pick the campaign would invest in a margarita machine and party down 'til November.

[See? There ya go! Rachel Madcow said it! Margaritas and PAR-TEEE!!!]

I suspect that Obama's juggernaut will be overwhelming.

[The Obama Jug-Ear-Naut will CRUSH the Rethuglicans!]

You know the more I'm reading today and seeing Romney Ryan the more nervous I become.

[Naah, no worries, bro! Hakuna matata! We've got this thing in the bag! Rest easy, my friend!]

Something just doesn't feel right. Am I crazy?
[Yes, but that's beside the point.]

Ryan did not surprise me whatsoever. the media (ok I am media) most of the media can pretend to be surprised, but Ryan meets the ground of exactly where the GOP wants to go.

[Know-it-all Nadin Brzezinski is NOT surprised. Oh, and she is media, she'll have you know.]

so, since you are media...are you pretending to be surprised? But you're actually NOT surprised? I'm confused.

[Nadin has that effect on people. But anyway, let's get back to the point at hand, i.e., Ryan, and how Obama's got this thing sewn up now . . .]

By October 1, we're going to be talking about the coming landslide.

[But which way will the land be sliding?]

the Koch BRothers. . . .

[Ah, the fabulously wealthy and evil Koch Brothers! I was wondering when somebody would mention them. They're from Wisconsin, you know, and Ryan is one of their boys. Ryan is Kochy. Even so, the DUmmies are cocky.]

I'm actually very concerned about how we respond to the Romney/Ryan ticket.

[Oh no. Not another Nervous Nelly.]

I mean, do we celebrate with champagne? Beer--and if so, micro or macro? . . . Paul Ryan! What the holy f***?

[Ha! That's more like it! You had me going there for a moment! Yes, let's crack open those champagne bottles, people! We're home free!! WHEEEEEEE!!!!!]

 


Looking forward to seeing an Obama win this November.  Most Canadians are.

[I predict Obama will CARRY Canada, in a LANDSLIDE!]

umm..RMoney/Ryan on 60 minutes. they are hitting a home run. Ryan sounds good...he is scary good.

[umm. . er. . . . hummina, hummina . . . uh, well, you're just a LOUSY FREEPER TROLL!!! We can't HEEEAR you!!! LA LA LA LA . . . .]

This is going to be a tough fight.
[Nonsense! Posh! Cake walk! Landslide! Take life easy! Relax!]

I think Biden can take him.

[Biden vs. Ryan? OK, pardon me while I envision that spectacle. . . . BWAHAHAHAHA!! OH HAHAHAHAHA!!! OH PLEASE! I CAN'T BREATHE!! HAHAHAHAHA. . . .]

DUmmie Hecklers Rush Ryan on Stage


As soon as I saw this VIDEO of Paul Ryan being rushed on stage by hecklers, my first thought was "What are their DUmmie screen names?" It wouldn't surprise me a bit if the morons rushing the stage were DUmmies since the action is completely counter-productive. Hey, DUmmies, you just wrote off Iowa with that stage rush. However, the DUmmies remain utterly clueless about how rushing an opposition candidate on a stage hurts their own cause as you can see in this THREAD, "Ryan Heckled At First Solo Event." So let us now watch the DUmmies toss away their pious demands for a "civil discourse" in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, noting this action was most likely part of a SEIU DUAC list, is in the [brackets]:

Ryan Heckled At First Solo Event

[And rushed on stage. Saw goodbye to Iowa in November, DUmmies.]

DES MOINES, Iowa — Paul Ryan's remarks at the Iowa State Fair in Des Moines today turned into a confrontational scene when hecklers sought to drown him out and then rush the stage. 

[SEIU thugs or DUmmies or both?]

Ryan had barely begun speaking when a woman shouted, "Are you going to cut Medicare?" 

[Like the 700 billion the Bamster cut for ObamaCare?]

Two women rushed the stage, and one was apparently arrested by three Iowa State Patrolmen after getting on stage with a banner. 

[They actually thought this would help their cause which means they MUST be DUmmies.]

"Woah...hey...alright...she must not be from Iowa" said a dumbfounded Ryan as the woman got on stage. The officers bounded out from behind the stage to pull her down, saying "She just punched a volunteer." 

[We are awaiting WILLIAM RIVERS PITT to now chime in with his "civil discourse" shtick. We now go to the clueless DUmmies who actually think rushing Ryan on a stage helps the Democrats...]

I hope we see stuff like this everyday. 

[Hoping for a landslide loss?]

Nope- no one should have been able to rush the stage like that. It's just not good. 

[SHHH!!! Don't tell the other DUmmies that this is a blueprint for a massive electoral LOSS.]

No harm, no foul. No one hurt, 

[The only ones hurt were Democrats.]

It's a sign that people are not going to take this power grab lying down. 

[Already planning for the post November Bolshevik Revolution?]

Were These Romney Supporters? This is so uncharacteristic for Iowans so I have to wonder if this was a staged event to give sympathy to Ryan. Think about it. 

[I thought about it and concluded the culprits were clueless DUmmies.]

It did seem odd that young looking women were heckling about medicare...... 

[It won't seem odd when you check the bonus section of their SEIU paystubs.]

It Sounds Like A Breitbart Operation To Me 

[LOL! It was so counter-productive that Breitbart was behind this to make Ryan look good. I have a better idea...BUSH'S FAULT!]

Update: Cherie Mortice, who participated in the protest, told TPM in a phone interview that it was organized by Iowa Citizens For Community Improvement, a nonpartisan progressive group in the state. They are the same group that heckled Mitt Romney at last year’s Iowa State Fair, prompting his famous response that “Corporations are people.” 

[Progressive=Left Wing Loonies.]

It probably means I'm not a good person, but seriously, I love when things like this happen to Repubs. 

[Will you also love LOSING in November?]

Sounds like were off to a good start. 

[Down the long slope to utter defeat.]

It might have been set up by the Right Wing, to use in an ad..


 [Hee! Hee!] 

Please ..... I believe that these people will do anything including stagging what looks like a spontaneous event. If Rove and company can make it look like we, those opposed to Ryan, are the radicals, not them, well they might get some sympathy... They are amoral..They hate us and they would do something like that..They will do anything to win. 


[Yeah. Those women were recruited by Karl Rove at a Kinko's in Amarillo, TX.]

A nonpartisan progressive group? Can someone explain that to me, please. 

[A far left group financed by Soros bucks.]

And someone said, "she just punched a volunteer"? Did the volunteer attack her first? Because if he did, the woman has a right to defend herself. This is Iowa people. We can and will defend ourselves against attacks, physical or mental. Go Ms. Mortice! 

[Yeah, leftwing loons have a perfect right to be protected from being shoved when they are rushing a public stage.]

Thursday, August 09, 2012

DUmmie dares to suggest Obama could LOSE!



I'll give DUmmie cali credit for this: She has the courage to suggest to the DUmmies that their beloved Obamassiah could LOSE! Unthinkable! But that's what DUmmie cali says here in this THREAD, "Romney stands a good chance of being elected President."

So let us now watch the Reality-Based Community® grapple with a dose of same, in Bolshevik Red, while the commentary of your humble guest correspondent, Charles Henrickson, noting that this time Obama is not even bothering to compete here in Missouri, is in the [Barackets]:

Romney stands a good chance of being elected President

[There, she said it. Please proceed, DUmmie cali . . .]

It seems like the majority of posts on this subject endorse the idea that Romney doesn't stand a chance. He does.

[HERETIC!]

Why? The reasons are numerous:

[The reasons are humorous: 1) Obama. 2) Obama. 3) Obama. 4) Obama. 5) Obama. 6) Obama. . . .]

1) Money, money, money. The big PACs and the rMoney campaign itself haven't even begun really spending the vast wads of cash that they're sitting on.

[1) Money, money, money. Obama has been wasting, wasting, wasting it, and we don't have enough, enough, enough of it.]

2) The economy. It sucks and lots of voters don't stick with what they've got under poor economic conditions. They'll vote for change. Any change at all.

[Hope and change, baby! What goes round, comes round! Hee! Hee!]

3) Obama is black. . . .

[When in doubt, play the race card. Please continue with that thought . . .]

and there are voters who cast their ballot for him last time around, who'll say to themselves "I gave the black guy a chance and it didn't work out, I'm going back to the white guy who knows all about business. I'm not a racist because I voted for Obama last time around".

[Translation: Voters who were white-guilted and Bush-bashed into voting for Obozo last time are having a serious case of buyer's remorse.]

4) Obama is black and the racists (there are a lot of them) hate that he's president.

[Two race cards in a row! Is that like a royal flush or something?]

5) The MSM will continue letting rMoney get away with all kinds of sh*t.

[The same MSM that did no investigation whatsoever into Obambi's background and still treats him with kid gloves?? The same MSM that took a mild pre-Olympic comment by Romney and made it into a huge "gaffe" and deemed his foreign trip a "disaster"?? Which universe are you watching??]

6) The electorate is persuadable and as a whole, not informed. And stupid.

[Well, Obama DID get elected, so you may have a point.]

Romney can win this thing. And that's even without taking into account that republicans can steal it if it's close.

[If all else fails, there's always the Diabolical Diebold card. . . . OK, so DUmmie cali has stirred the pot. Let's see how the DUmmies respond . . .]

The black man you know or the Mormon you dislike and distrust? Tough choice.

[How about the incompetent idiot socialist who's destroying the country or . . . anybody else? Easy choice.]

the Tea Baggers, the 'wingers', and such . . . too many of them have made it all the way to Office, but with luck we can start tossing they back out with this election. Let's start by electing Elizabeth Warren.

[Elect the Faux Squaw? Ugh! How?]

Bumper Sticker I Saw: "I'd Rather Vote for the MORMON Than for the MORON." To eliminate any doubt of who the "moron" is (and, yes, they spelled it correctly), they put an Obama symbol inside the "O" of "Obama."

[Hey, cool! Where can I get one of those?]







it appears the other side has adopted the same approach to Obama that our side took in 2004 to GWBush: "I'd rather vote for a ham sandwich than "

[Bam vs. ham? I'll go with the ham.]

In any case, we know what the rhetoric will be from the Democrats. . . .

[Yes, we do. Here it is, in brief . . .
1) Evil rich white guys need to pay their fair share. Romney is an evil rich white guy.
2) Barack, Michelle, Malia, and Sasha--and Bo!--are the Huxtables of Pennsylvania Ave.
3) Granny will be eating dog food.
4) Coat hangers and contraceptives.
5) FREE STUFF! FREE STUDENT LOANS!
6) Barack took out bin Laden!]

I've been watching all the electoral map predictions, I can't see Romney getting 270.

[I can't either. More like 290.]

In 2008 I saw people randomly start chanting "yes we can" in the streets. I have seen no such a thing recently.

[Now they're chanting, "WHAT were we THINKING??"]

of course, one would have to be an utter fool not to understand that Romney has very good chance

[Thus the denial in DUmmieland.]

The posts you read here are meaningless. DU is not representative of the American electorate or the Democratic party.

[DU is not representative of the American electorate, I'll grant you that.]

I have a son at University of Colorado and enthusiasm for Obama is gone among many of those young folks who ardently went out and voted for him four years ago.
[Now they realize they are going to have to ardently go out and find a job.]

The economy is worse than most people here at DU think. . . .

[But wait! I thought this was like Recovery Summer 3.0 or something??]

these unemployment numbers are bogus; the GDP numbers are anemic and bogus. . . .

[The whole thing's B.O.gus!]

it is sad to say that Pres. Obama has been too conciliatory, too "no drama". . . .

["No Drama" Obama needs to get TOUGH and do something DRAMATIC--say, accuse Romney of killing somebody's wife! Yeah, that's the ticket!]

Assuming a good GOTV organization from the Obama campaign and the Democrats. . . .

[Yes, you Democrats! Be sure to get out there and GET OUT THE VOTE on November 7th!]

Pres. Obama's best bet to take a good lead over Rmoney will be to propose a real, big, dramatic policy idea at the DNC. . . .

[FREE MONEY FOR EVERYONE! Except evil rich white guys, of course.]

If you elect Romney, I'll no longer argue with fellow Canucks who say you Yanks are stupid.

[Listen, DUmmie Canadian 2, if Obama loses, you guys can have him up there. Hey, he may be a native-born Canadian, for all we know.]







Rmoney is up Rio de Caca without a paddle.

[Obama is heading Ova de Cliff without a brake pedal.]


You know what's funny?

[DUmmies.]

In 2008, Obama Won Ohio by something like 107,000 votes. that's not much of a margin.






there's numerous disillusioned young voters out there who actually bought into O's "hope and change" meme... OK, where's the change? too many college grads with no career prospects.. moving back home with mom and dad... these voters are not going to show up on election day. when your margin of victory in a state like OH is only 107,000 votes... you have to have _everyone_ show up who voted for you last time. . . . the democratic meme "we need twenty years to fix the problem" is not cutting it for people who can't find employment. the view of many is this POTUS has been in office for four years, and we're still at 8.3-8.4% UNemployment. that's the kiss of death for incumbents.

[But for you, DUmmie Iggy, it is the Kewpie of Doll! Congratulations!]

confident Obama will win. Just feeling it in my bones!

[Is it kind of like a thrill up your leg?]

I wish I were as confident as some that it's a shoe-in.

[It could be a boot-out.]

Romneyhood. He's got strong support from the hateful, bigoted, greedy bunch.

[Romney Hood and his Meany Men, those arch-conservatives, sher wood stop at notting.]

Obama is competent and. . . .

[Wait a minute. Stop for a moment. . . . HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! . . . OK, now continue . . .]

Obama is honest. . . .

[YOU LIE!]

This Country truly has some foolish voters.

[Two words: President Obama.]

- - - - - - - - - -

UPDATE:

Romneyhood. He's got strong support from the hateful, bigoted, greedy bunch.

Which inspires this now from yours truly, Charles Henrickson, the wag tailoring the doggerel. Click the music link and sing along!


THE GREEDY BUNCH™
Tune: "The Brady Bunch"


They're the wealthy who oppress the needy
And are finding ways to hide their tax returns
All of them were heirs of gold from their fathers
Their money they don't earn


There's Mitt Romney with his eyes so beady
Who was busy taking fortunes for his own
He would kill dogs and the wives of workers
That's how his wealth had grown


Till the one day when Mitt Romney met those fellows
And they knew from all the numbers they would crunch
That this group must form a corporation
That's the way they all became The Greedy Bunch™


The Greedy Bunch™, The Greedy Bunch™
That's the way they became The Greedy Bunch™