Tuesday, August 31, 2010

"I encountered a Muslim woman in my local supermarket this morning."



One of our favorite types of DUmmie threads is the one that goes like this: "Let me tell you about my experience in which I was the noble progressive in a sea of backwards fundie freeptards." We have an example of that today in this THREAD from DUmmie 11 Bravo, "I encountered a Muslim woman in my local supermarket this morning."

Since it involves a Muslim, this thread will also illustrate what I have always contended is the #1 driving force for the DUmmies, namely, their hatred of Christianity. But Islam puts the DUmmies in a quandary. They hate Christianity, so their kneejerk reaction is to defend Islam, as they did in the recent flap over Mosque O on the Hudson. But to defend Islam is to defend a lot of decidedly non-progressive ideas. So this puts the DUmmies in a pickle, at which point they usually resort to the idiotic yet still popular Moral Equivalence Move: "Christian fundamentalism, Islamic fundamentalism, same diff."

Like Mohammed, I am no prophet, but I predict this thread will be FUndamentally FUn! So let us now watch the tolerant yet troubled DUmmies alternately strut and squirm, in Ramadan Red, while the commentary of your humble guest correspondent, Charles Henrickson, willing to "Coexist" with moonbats who put stupid bumper stickers on their cars, is in the [brackets]:

I encountered a Muslim woman in my local supermarket this morning.

[Close Encounters of the DUmmie Kind. . . . Oh, PJ wants to know: Did she have any coupons?]

She was wearing a burka, fully veiled.

[You were wearing your Birkenstocks, pony-tailed.]

No one was openly harassing her, but . . .

[. . . but I'm going to complain about them anyway.]

people were just avoiding her, while snickering behind her back.

[Actually, they were snickering at YOU, you DUmmie!]

No one would look at her, and when she sought help from a stock boy, he acted as if she were invisible.

[So she turned to you, Birkenstock boy.]

I had no idea what to do. . . .

[You are a DUmmie, after all.]

so I summoned up the sole bit of Arabic I know, approached her, and said, "As-Salaam-Alaikum". . . .

[Which means, "What an ass like I am."]

(Peace be unto you).

[Piss be upon you.]

All I could see were her eyes, but at that moment those eyes conveyed more genuine emotion than Glenn Beck at his weepy worst.

[Her eyes were tearing up from your smelly clothes.]

I thought for a moment she was going to hug me.

[That, or behead you.]

Of course, she did not, but she responded with the traditional "Alaikum salaam".

["Leave me alone, you slimeball."]

At that point all I could do was shrug and tell her, "That's all I know". She simply nodded her head and said, "Thank you."

["Thank you, I'm glad you will be going away now."]

The entire encounter took maybe 30 seconds, but I can't stop thinking about it.

[I can't stop thinking about what a noble progressive I was! Tolerant, open-minded. . . . And now I want you guys to praise me! Please begin . . .]

ah, hugs. a little piece of beauty in a whole lot of ugly.

[Bravo, DUmmie 11 Bravo!]

She's as much a victim of her religion as her religion is of the Beck/Limbaugh troglodytes. Without the perpetuation of 8th century desert mythologies she wouldn't be mandated to wear that ridiculous and imprisoning burka nonsense.

[All religion, BAD! DUmmie Codeine moves quickly to the Moral Equivalence Gambit.]

what if she is wearing it by choice ? this is in america isn't it ?

[Squirm, DUmmies, squirm!]

I would support a ban on burqas.

[Burqa's Law.]

Better to condemn the practice . . . than to pass a blanket ban on full-body veils.

[Let's have a blanket ban on banning blankets.]

I would hope for your consistency and that you would support a ban on breast implants, tanning salons, anorexia, daisy dukes, micro-mini skirts, halter tops, ect.

[Let's ban ALL clothing!]

I don't even know where to begin to address your ignorance.

[345 DUmmieland Lane . . .]

"Daisy Dukes", "miniskirts" "haltertops"..... to you I say, **** off, because I will wear them if I want to.

[benburch is STEAMED!]

I go check the mail in pajamas and bunny ears, and if it's hot outside, I water the plants wearing a bikini.

[ben, please. . . .]

A vagina is not a replacement for a brain.

[Words to live by.]

Maybe you need to get over yourself and not try to tell females how they SHOULD FEEL.

[Oh, how the DUmmies are squirming!]

This is a complex issue, with layer upon layer and yes, many of us are like fish and water. . . .

[All wet.]

how about those who want to hang out naked?

[Depends how far they're hanging out.]

I want to be as free as the Amazon tribesmen. . . .

[Amazon.commie.]

All the major religions are misogynistic.

[All people who make sweeping generalizations should be shot!]

the hatred and ridicule on display in this country over Muslims is disgusting. Sometimes I really hate this country and Americans in general. Ignorant f***ing pieces of sh*t. Unfortunately people like Palin and Beck usually live to ripe old ages instead of dying of painful illnesses like they deserve.

[I HATE those haters!]

I'm just a little baffled that suddenly Islam is flavor of the month at DU.

[Two scoops of Iraqi Road.]

Honor killings and beatings by ultra conservative religionists of virtually all stripes. . . .

[Lutherans do honor killings for bringing bad casseroles to the potluck.]

Ah, what a f***ing know it all (Codeine) . . . 8th century myths? You wanna know a REAL f***ing myth? The myth of a know it all who is certain there is nothing beyond the god of scienctism. . . .

[DUmmie Raoul, God has blessed you with a Brief Moment of Mental Clarity, and so we award you today's Kewpie Doll!]

I just feel a bit sickened by the sudden DU lovefest for all things Islamic. Honestly, it's a bit insane that we're suddenly rushing to embrace a religion so anathema to Progressive values just because the right-wing f***tards have their panties in a wad over the Finacial District mosque.

[DUmmie Codeine sees the DUmmie dilemma: Defending Mosque O on the Hudson (since it's not Christian), while at the same time not endorsing Muslim Family Values.]

One ugly American started screaming at a young woman wearing the Hijab... so I stepped in . . .

[. . . and gave him a high jab.]

Guess what? The same kind of behavior is quite often shown to Goths, scene kids and anyone else not fitting into the "norm." I hope everyone is as kind to the Goths--they need lovin', too.

[And don't ostracize the Ostrogoths, either.]

I shave my head and while it has become more acceptable for women to do so, I still have varied reactions from people. . . .

[Ranging all the way from disgust to ridicule.]

I use what I call urban camouflage - it seems like I'm an ordinary, middle aged nurse, when I'm actually a polyamorous hippy living in a stable triad.

[You're probably a Polident-using hippo living in a stable.]

I was a nun at one time and wore a habit . . .

[. . . but then I got out of the habit.]

Jazakallah Khairan

[Gesundheit.]

All the worlds religions subjugate women, except Wicca.

[Lou: Witch religion?
Bud: Wicca.
Lou: Right, witch religion!
Bud: Look, I told you, Wicca! . . .]

i am a presbyterian and will be so until i die . . .

[. . . and become a Lutheran in heaven.]

Friday, August 27, 2010

DUmmies Campaign to "Turn Off Fox"

Things just aren't going good for the DUmmies during this "Recovery Summer." Democrats poll numbers way down, leftwing anger with Obama, and the spectacular epic fail of Recovery Summer. So what to do? Blame Fox News for their woes as you can see in this THREAD, "'Turn Off Fox'...Campaign to get Fox News turned off in stores, restaurants, & other public places." Yeah, reality hurts the Left so much that they can't bear to watch it even briefly when exposed to Fox News in public places so they are laughably trying to TURN IT OFF. So let us now watch the DUmmies screech to "Turn Off Fox" in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, noting that Megyn Kelly turns me on, is in the [brackets]:


"Turn Off Fox"...Campaign to get Fox News turned off in stores, restaurants, & other public places

[To be replaced by Al Jazeera?]

Have you ever looked up at the television at a local business -- your gym, an auto shop, a bar or restaurant -- only to find Glenn Beck or Bill O'Reilly shouting down at you? Often without thinking about it, many businesses and other public establishments are providing a vehicle for Fox News' attempts to divide America. Now you can do something about it.

[Stand by for the laugh lines.]

Today, ColorOfChange.org is launching Turn Off Fox -- a massive campaign to get Fox News turned off in stores, restaurants, and other public places.

There are several ways you can get involved:

[DUAC! DUAC!]

Join the campaign by signing our petition calling on businesses in your community and across America to turn off Fox News Channel (you'll also get a free TurnOffFox sticker!)

Know of businesses or other public places that play Fox News? You can help us identify them, and if you're willing to talk with them, we provide materials that make it easy to explain why they should change the channel.

[Will this earn me my Jr. Thought Police merit badge?]

If there are businesses you know that want to tell the world they would never play Fox, you can help them declare themselves a "Fox-free zone."

[aka "Thought-free zone."]

Please check out TurnOffFox.org, join us, and get involved!

Get your free Turn Off Fox sticker

[It's going to be FUn to see who has these bumper stickers on their cars. I always love to see what kind of loons are driving with those stickers. Now on to the "free speech" DUmmies...]

So if Fox goes away. Where would you send your friends who are looking for unbiased news? MSNBC is out, they are just as biased as Fox. So what out there is unbiased enough to give people access to real factual news and allows people to think for themselves?

[LOUSY FREEPER TROLL! Your tombstoning has already begun!]

al jazeera english and BBC both do commendable jobs of dispassionate and objective reporting.

[LOL! Thanx for the leftwing loon laugh line!]

Democracy Now, CBC Radio, BBC World Service

[No fear that people will actual listen to those in public places.]

Who watches TV in a restaurant? Sports bars should have sports on. Restaurants, if they must have something on, should have the Food Network on. That always makes me hungry!

[Good point. About the only public place I have ever LISTENED to TV has been in laundromats and I don't use them any more. (I've got some great Tide coupons!)]

There is also pacifica news, which is a loose affiliation of radio stations that pool their money to provide good reporting.

[A loose affiliation with their screws loose.]

MSNBC is biased toward the truth, not filthy, lying right-wing propaganda.

[Ed Schultz loves MSNBC so much that it threatened to go postal and TORCH it recently. ]

Clean the airwaves of anti-American, hate-soaked agitprop.

[Why do you hate MSNBC which Ed Schultz wants to torch?]

If they don't get to watch fox do we not get to see MSNBC?

[If you can't see MSNBC it is because Ed Schultz has torched it.]

Living the Liberal Bubble that is the Soviet of Seattle I never see FOX on in ANY establishment.

[Great description. Soviet of Seattle.]


We also need to push for restoration of restrictions on media consolidation and of the Fairness Doctrine, and above all for net neutrality.

[Don't be shy. Just say what you really mean. Scream it out. CENSORSHIP!!! There, don't you feel better now?]

At my health club if I walk past a tv with fox on Ill reach up and turn it off, people get pissed off but who the f*** cares what those fox news drones have to say.

[A prime candidate for a sock in the jaw at his gym.]

And when this doesn't work do we hold a TV burning?

[A Kewpie Doll is in the mail to you.]

Let's all work to turn off FOX. They have turned my parents into hate spewing drones suddenly comfortable with all kinds of idiocy and bigotry. I can't stand FOX news....

[So turn on Ed Schultz and watch him torch MSNBC.]

Over a year ago I wrote a post saying that I politely ask the business to change the channel off of Fox when on in a public area. For some reason I was inundated with people defending Fox and one even said they would counteract me by asking Fox to be turned on. This was on DU. Still pisses me off when I think about it.

[If I'm not mistaken I think we DUFUed your thread which completely boomeranged on you.]

And yes, it seems, every place I go...FoxNooseChannel is blasting.

[Mommy! Make them stop blasting the truth!!!]

Nine TVS in the tread mill, etc. area and 3 of them have Faux news.

[EEK! The customers are being given a choice. Oh, the horror!]

Just sent off a copy of the white paper to the board of directors of my "active adult" community. I'm forced to keep my eyes on the ground the whole time I'm at the fitness center.

[Did you remember to put on your ear and brain plugs?]

I just walk up to it and change the channel ...f*ck em if they don't like it...I'll go someplece el. I'll just go some place else if they bitch.

[Another candidate for a jaw busting.]

When I was coming out from anesthesia about a year ago I woke up to Glen Beck screaming like Hitler in my ears. At first I was just stunned... I sat bolt upright and threw an uncharacteristic, melodramatic fit, that surprised even me; flailing my arms complete with all the post op plumbing losing the finger monitor and life monitors flying asunder, setting off alarms and mortifying the nurses as emergency staff rushed into the room. I told them to get that god damned Nazi crap away from my ears and out of my sight.

[At that point they re-applied the anesthesia so you could painfully wake up again on the other side of early November.]

Needless to say they scrambled to shut off the monitor by yanking the plug from its socket. One of the nurses came to calm me down and check the connections and reconnect the monitors;...."They don't listen to us" "Now the admins will stop this nonsense" I heard one of the nurses say to the the others while others appeared to agree. I was on a morphine drip, cranky from the pain of surgery, a little loopy, was fearless and had few inhibitions. Not a good time to fool with my senses.

[The nurses then decided to increase the morphine drip to the gushing flow rate.]

The next day when I became ambulatory, walking with the bottles and plumbing still attached to my veins, but now on rollers, I searched out the chief; And ask whether it was he who was forcing this right wing propaganda on his patients; Some even comatose but many just out of it.

[Did you have the enema tube attached to your mouth?]

If Obama really wanted to stop the propaganda and lies,
he would instruct his FCC chief to REINSTATE THE FAIRNESS DOCTRINE. All of America would benefit. The American citizen could once again be honestly informed. Maybe that's the problem. An uninformed populace is much easier to manipulate.

[Hmmm... Fox News is cable so not subject to the FCC. But no matter. Go ahead and CENSOR.]

Thursday, August 26, 2010

DUmmies dream of Barack the Genie




Wishin' and hopin', that's what the DUmmies are doing now. The denizens of DUmmieland are holding out hope that, in spite of his piss-poor performance so far, their Obamassiah will start to deliver on their delusional dreams. We see the DUmmies rubbing on their genie lamps here in this THREAD, "Here's where you get to name three things you'd like to see President Obama do."

But before we get to the DUmmies, let's sing! Click on one of the music links and sing along!

THAT OLD BARACK MAGIC
Tune: "That Old Black Magic"
Louis and Keely Frank

That old Barack magic has me in a trance
That old Barack magic that there's half a chance
The sheer disaster that he's been till now
Will soon be over and he'll act like Mao

The same old tingle Chrissy Matthews felt
Runs up my leg and down below my belt
And such a thrill I get
Hot not chilled I get
I'm so hot, I'm starting to melt

I should keep my cool, but I'm on DU
I hear his name, and I'm insane
Insane with such delusions so grand
That somehow my wish will be his command

He is the genie I've been dreaming of
The lucky star that's shining up above
I'm so bewitched, I start to twitch
And such a thrill I get
Hot not chilled I get
In a swoon
Barking up at the moon
Under that old Barack magic called love

So now let us watch the DUmmies make their wishes, in Bolshevik Red, while the commentary of your humble guest correspondent, the wag tailoring the doggerel, Charles Henrickson, ever the optometrist, is in the [Barackets]:

Here's where you get to name three things you'd like to see President Obama do before the end of this year.

[DUmmie Barack2theFuture starts rubbing on his genie lamp. . . .]

1. Appoint Elizabeth Warren. . . .

[IMPEACH EARL WARREN! No wait. . . .]

1. Appoint Elizabeth Warren as head of protecting consumers from the f***ing g*dd*mned capitalists.

[Those LOUSY, NO-GOOD, ROTTEN CAPITALISTS!! Creating all that wealth and jobs and other evil stuff. . . .]

2. Fire Summers and Geithner. Replace them with demand-siders.

[Yes sir! Your demand is my command!]

3. Have a series of TV and radio heart-to-heart talks with the American people.

[Get a real evocative, tear-jerky soundtrack to go with it.]

Use that old Barack charisma. . . .

[That old Barack magic. . . .]

lay out an aggressively progressive vision for a "New New Deal". . . .

[And when THAT fails, then try a NEW New New Deal.]

Lay this out as a yardstick . . .

[. . . to spank the taxpayers with.]

explain how the end of the republican tax cuts for the wealthy is a good thing. . . .

[PUNISH those achievers, those lousy job-creators! Make them ship their stinkin' jobs out to New Dealy, India!]

If I had a #4, it would be to end DADT.

[If *I* had a #4, it would be to end DADT, Dumb-A$$ DUmmie Threads. . . . No wait, then we wouldn't have anything to laff at! So scratch that, and let's move on to the other Dumb-A$$ DUmmies. . . .]

Mine . . . Close Gitmo. . . .

[Mine . . . Clone Satchmo.]

be the fierce advocate for lgbtiq people. . . .

[Would "lgbtiq people" be people with too many consonants in their name, like Mr. Mxyzptlk or Eli Grba?]

I want him to start a "President's Questions" in front of Congress, now.

["Who am I and why am I here? For bonus points, where was I born?"]

Charge Bush, Cheney, Rumsfeld, Gonzales, et al with war crimes.

[THE HAGUE! FROGMARCH! FITZMAS!]

Medicare for all/Socialized medicine.

[An honest DUmmie.]

Massive refinance of all Fannie and Freddie mortgages. . . .

[Barney Frank's wish: The Fannie of Freddie.]

Fire Arne Duncan!

[Hire Sandy Duncan!]

My 3 . . . 1. LEAD, 2. LEAD, 3. LEAD.

[Someone's been smoking the lead pipe.]

Go to a large Baptist "super church" in the South and give a nationally televised, barn burning, shout it from the rooftops speech on gay equality. . . .

[Just make sure the church has lightning insurance.]

2. Fix (eliminate) paperless electronic voting/tabulation.

[3. Then, when we Democrats lose and get our clocks cleaned, eliminate paper voting and go to electronic.]

Right now, tonight? I can only think of one. Just go away. Get your rightwing asskissing self and your neolib cronies the hell out of the White House and just go away. Give it to Biden, give it to Pelosi - I don't care. I'm just totally fed up with YOU.

[Hee! Hee! DUmmie scarletwoman wants to put the genie back in the bottle!]

1. 30-hour work week for everyone.

[30?? That's too much! Go for 10!]

2. Complete and unconditional adoption of the Metric System.

[Lay that out as the yardstick.]

3. More beer.

[BEER SUMMITS FOR ALL!!]

Tuesday, August 24, 2010

"I think Democrats will hold Congress,and possibly gain a few seats"



"I believe in unicorns with rainbows coming out their rear ends!" That is how connected to reality the Reality Based Community® is. One of the DUmmies even posted the graphic above, with the words "I believe" next to it, on today's THREAD, "I think Democrats will hold Congress,and possibly gain a few seats. . . ." Yes, in spite of all evidence to the contrary--MULTIPLE polls showing Rethuglicans leading in MOST key races--some of the DUmmies are confident that the Party of Hope, Dope, and Grope will defeat the Party of Nope in November.

So let us now catch the next monorail and get off at the stop marked Fantasyland, in Rose-Colored Red, while the bemused commentary of your humble guest correspondent, Charles Henrickson, encouraging the DUmmies to crack open those champagne bottles, is in the [brackets]:

I think Democrats will hold Congress. . . .

[I question your hold on reality.]

and possibly gain a few seats. . . .

[Look for Alvin Greene to pull an upset in South Carolina. He will CREAM DeMint!]

I think there is no reason - judging by the primaries so far - that we should lose anything.

{Except your marbles.]

IF Democrats vote, we have the power to even gain a few seats in congress. . . .

[Democrats, be sure to GET OUT AND VOTE on November 3!]

It is all in our hands. . . .

[It is all in your head.]

I think that the House will stay solid. . . .

[House, More D.]

Here's to a huge turn-out.

[Let's hope it's HUGH! It's in your hands, Democrats!]



We here on Du are NOT the "base", but we ARE the "yeast"!

[More like a yeast infection.]

So let's all get abubbling!

[Get that champagne ready! Heck, go ahead and pop it open! WHEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!! Freudenschade, baby!!]

November isn't that far off!

[I can see November from my House!]

Proud member of the Unprofessional Left, meaning that during all these many decades, I have NEVER made a buck from my beliefs!

[Is that you, Will Pitt?]

Hell, I have had a hard time making a buck from much of anything. . . .

[Thats why God created Mom's basement.]

I believe

[I BELIEEEEEEEEEEEEEVE!!!!!!!! I believe in unicorns with rainbows coming out their butts! I DO believe!! I do I do I do!!!!!]

I think the Republicon noise machine is spewing oodles of poo. . . .

[Quiet, you might get benburch to defect!]

Grayson is suppose to be a GOP district, but he won before and he looks good to win again.

[Alan "Dick" Grayson, the insane congressman from Fantasyland (literally)?? You think this raving moonbat will actually get re-elected??? Is someone putting LSD in the water supply down there?]

The Hate Of Whites At The South For A Black President Distorts National Figures

[Or, Maybe There's Another Reason People Are Fed Up With The Mosqued Marxist.]

elsewhere people remain more or less sane

[In DUmmieland? Less.]

The voters know it was the policies of Bush and his wars that wrecked the economy. . . .

[Bush even put a spell on Obama and Congress to increase the deficit by several-fold! The evil b*st*rd!]

those that remain unemployed or underemployed will find little motivation to take time from their day to vote. . . .

[They're so busy, after all.]

"If Voting Could Change Anything, it Would Be Illegal" (Anarchist aphorism). Anarchists eschew voting. . . .

[It's a fundamental rule of the National Anarchists Association.]

The Reptilicans do NOT want us to vote!

[On the contrary! This Reptilican INSISTS you get out there and vote on November 3! It's your civic DUty!]

All the more important that we not only vote in HUGE numbers, but also persuade our dispirited friends.

[Yes, persuade them! Tell them we need to INCREASE spending, INCREASE taxes, INCREASE the national debt! And yes, let's BUILD that Mosque O on the Hudson!]

Democrats must get out and vote.

[Remember, remember, the Third of November!]

And where is Tim Kaine? What the hell is he doing? Talk about a waste of time and money! Fire his sorry butt and get Howard Dean back!!

[YEEEEEAAARRRRRRRRGGGGGGHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!]

And let's hope that the Republican-made Electronic Voting machines without paper trails, which most states are still using today, will not make too much of a difference.

[Get ready for the Diebold excuses. Those Democrat successes in 2006 and 2008 were just a devious Diebold ploy to lull the libs into a false sense of security.]

If you look at the polling numbers and the trend from other midterms, it looks like a real spanking from a realistic standpoint.

["A SPANKING?! Promise?" . . . benburch is SO excited! Calm down, ben!]

I appreciate your passion and thoughts... but I'm sorry, it's going to be a f***ing bloodbath.

[DUmmie GSLevel9, although you are being Debbie Downer here, you do win today's Kewpie Doll for this Brief Moment of Mental Clarity™. Congratulations!]

Sunday, August 22, 2010

Skinner: DUmmieland divided, donations down, Obama's fault!



DUmmieland is in trouble. You see, Head DUmmie $kimmer is having a fund drive right now, and donations are down. And Skinner tells the DUmmies the reason is, they've lost that lovin' feeling, they're at each other's throats. The ongoing Battle of the Hyper-Progs vs. the Obamabots is leaving a sour taste in people's mouths, and that's why they aren't giving. So really, it's Obama's fault! Head DUmmie Skinner once again is facing a crisis, and in his usual decisive style, he doesn't know what to do about it.

We can see all this in this
THREAD, "We're not going to reach our goal this fund drive. Let's talk." It's a MONSTER thread, with over 1,700 posts! Lots of verbiage, not enough dineros!

So let us now see $kimmer DUeling for dollars, in Red Ink Red, while the commentary of your humble guest correspondent, Charles Henrickson, putting the FUn in FUnd drive, is in the [brackets]:

We're not going to reach our goal this fund drive.

[But I thought this was the Summer of Recovery?]

Let's talk.

[Oh, your DUmmies will talk, alright. They just won't give you money.]

So, it's now Friday, and as I post this we haven't even reached 600 donations yet. Unless we experience some kind of miraculous and unprecedented turn-around, we aren't going to reach our goal of 1000 donations by Sunday night.

[Pray to Gaia for a miracle. Lay your hands on the Ant Farm.]

But before you stop reading, the point of this post is not to beg you to dig deep and donate and put us over the top.

[Translation: The point of this post is to beg you for money.]

the point of this post is to tell you this: Message received. You don't like what DU has become.

[Hyper-Progs DUmping on Obama, Obamabots cowed into silence and submission.]

you wish it was more like the old DU. . . . Yeah, I miss that DU, too.

[At least they gave money, not like you cheapskates now.]

I miss it so much that it makes my heart ache. I lie awake at night agonizing over it. I can barely bring myself to read my email anymore. I'm burned out and tired.

[WAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!]

you send me scolding shame-on-you emails demanding that I do {whatever} and then DU would be better. I wish I shared your certainty.

[Mr. Decisive.]

We have been very cautious and deliberate in our attempts to improve the way we run DU. . . . But the whole effort has the feeling of rearranging the deck chairs on the Titanic.

[Captain Skinner of the S.S. DUmmieland does not want to go down with the shi*.]

Here's the problem in a nutshell: Back when Bush was President, he represented the center of gravity in politics -- the focal point that determined "Which side are you on?" -- and everyone on DU actually was on the same side.

[BDS was the glue that held DUmmieland together.]

Now that Barack Obama is President, he has become the center of gravity.

[More like a black hole.]

To be blunt, we are not all on the same side anymore.

[It's Obama's fault!]

This is the situation we face. Nobody is "safe" anymore. DU doesn't "belong" to anyone. . . . I could "solve" our problems pretty easily by picking a side.

[Visualize Skinner doing "air quotes."]

And they would take comfort from knowing (finally) that the DU Admins are on their side, rather than cold, distant, unpredictable creatures whose allegiances are not entirely clear and who could turn on them at any moment.

[Skinner admits that he, EarlG, and Elad are cold, distant, unpredictable creatures who could turn on the DUmmies at any moment.]

I see the people who built this community.

[. . . on rock and roll. Skinner looks through his Romper Room Magic Mirror and says, "I see Willie and Peggy and Beth. . . ."]

Some of you might post strange and unpleasant things now -- including some things that cut very deeply -- but I remember what you were like before, and I remember how much I liked you then.

[This is a thinly disguised slam at Wee Willie Pitt.]

So we keep doing what we're doing.

[THANK you, Skinner, for verifying my faith in you: You will do NOTHING different.]

I feel obligated to censor people, even though I have never liked doing it. . . .

[Oh, come on, Skinner. You get a THRILL, a tingle up your leg, when you can tombstone somebody!]

I feel obligated to serve as an authority figure. . . .

[Skinner is starting to get excited thinking about his power. . . .]

I feel obligated to keep deleting posts and banning people. . . .

[Skinner is drooling now. . . .]

I think it might not be a bad thing that we're not going to reach our goal this fund drive. Perhaps it will provide us with justification to experiment with some really radical changes to this place.

[We're going to PUNISH you peons! LOCK, BAN, DELETE!! LOCK, BAN, DELETE!! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!]

The Admins have discussed a lot of ideas, but we honestly don't know what's going to work, or what you all will be willing to accept.

[Nothing will work, Skinner. That's DUmmieland in a NUtshell.]

I think, to start, we're probably going to post some kind of member survey next week. . . .

[THAT'S IT?? You go through all that, and the best you've got is a "survey"??]

thanks for talking to us skinner.

[Thanx for NOTHING!]

i do think a lot of us are having financially difficult times.

[The excuses begin.]

I DO believe that the lack of donations is due to the FACT that many many of us are still hanging on by the skin of our teeth. the economy is in the crapper.

[How can this BE?? The DEMOCRATS are in charge! Summer of Recovery!!]

Robbing Peter to pay Paul isn't an option for many. . . .

[But that, in a nutshell, is the Democrat governing philosophy.]

Further, some of us are literally dying, and it doesn't matter to others.

[THIS post is from DUmmie bobbolink, aka Bobo the Hobo, the homeless woman who sleeps in a car and who yet somehow manages to have internet access day or night, the same bobbolink who ALWAYS is playing the victim card--"Nobody cares for little ol' poverty-stricken me!"--the same bobbolink who lured Pitt into threatening her and thus got Wee Willie his three-month "time out"!]

Here's my $5.00.

[Skinner is only $10 away from $15 in donations.]

I don't want to be in America anymore. I want to run far from here.

[Is that you, Barack Obama?]

seems some members who used to be vigilant about posting articles may have been some of those "purged"???

[Victims of Herr Skinner's Prog Pogrom.]

The DLCers and the Progressives will always be at odds.

[They're all odd.]

I have never been so flat busted.

[benburch having trouble paying for the hormones.]

I love the diversity here.

[Celebrate perversity. Now where's your money?]

The people . . . didn't talk to each other with such hatefulness. They didn't get death threats from expressing their view. . . . a mediocre writer with a big ego.

[Bobo the Hobo with ANOTHER slam at Wee Willie Pitt! She won't let it go!! "A mediocre writer with a big ego." Bobo NAILS the Pittster!]

On DU nowadays... Death threats = forgivable and the poster is un-TSed. Posting the number 7 = un-f***ing-forgivable, not no way, not no how, person stays TSed forever.

[A slam aginst Pitt AND Herr Skinner's Selective Tombstoning!]

I feel I'm not allowed to express honest concerns that I have.

[Prepare for tombstoning, in 5, 4, 3. . . .]

Obama continues to whistle the corporate tune, continues to keep the same DLCers on his staff.

[Rahm-DLC.]

I've been dead broke ever since I got here. That was, what, seven years ago? . . . Some of us simply aren't competent or lucky enough to be able to afford to donate.

[I'm gonna say . . . competent. You're not competent enough.]

There have been numerous unfair bannings while others who were banned for grievous acts were allowed to return. . . . a lot of my friends are now gone, either TSed for speaking their mind or they've simply faded away from what DU has become. . . . I don't feel like the DU admin appreciates me or my donation. I'm just a dollar sign here.

[Thanx for sharing, DUmmie $$$.]

I'm convinced we've been infiltrated by trolls who have been smart enough not to get caught...yet.

[Hee! Hee! Our plan is working!]

The difficult part is being able to determine the trolls that have managed to stay. It would be nice if we could individually tag them so it would be easier to track their history.

[I'm picturing Marlin Perkins and Jim Fowler shooting suspected trolls with tranquilizer darts.]

yup! the serial unrec'ers, for starters, and when i referred to them in a post using the "t" word . . . my post were deleted. Apparently, it's against DU rules to call someone by the "t" word. . . . That's what i was told by admin when i asked why my post was deleted. When i asked if there was an appropriate DU-sanctioned term for unrec'ers, I got a one-word response: "people".

["People." And that starts with "p" and that rhymes with "t" and that stands for "teabaggers."]

I can get behind that.

[Quiet, ben!]

I know that I still appreciate DU. . . .

[So where's your money?]

I think Skinner our lord and master (I mean that in a good way) should just extend the pledge drive. . . .

[24 more business hours!]

Skinner, what is the DU budget? Where does the money go?

[All $15 will go toward Skinner's antacid bills.]

Sorry about not being able to donate.

[Join the club!]

I think of DU as just one big, incredibly dysfunctional family.

[You would win the Kewpie Doll except for your "big."]

Nobody here is stupid. . . .

[That right there would have revoked your Kewpie Doll anyway. . . . Well, this is such a HUGH thread, the Mother Of All Threads, I'm going to do like John Charles Daly and flip all the cards over, panel, and go to the end of the thread (so far) and see how $kimmer's fund drive is going, now that it's Sunday evening. . . .]

Even as a relative newbie, it is obvious to me that the enforcement of "rules" here is inconsistent and inequitable to say the least. As a result, the inevitable perception is that rules are applied capriciously, grotesquely unfairly, and punitively against a certain segment of posters. Progressive posters are routinely disappeared like El Salvadoran union organizers. Meanwhile, rabid lynch mobs roam the forums, targeting and eliminating posters they disagree with and disrupting threads at will. This very thread is a laughably ironic example of exactly that.

[Not so good, I take it.]

Some people seem to be able to get away with saying anything they want - without repercussions - while others get the ban hammer for a whole lot less.

[Herr Skinner's censorship seems to be an issue that won't go away.]

If you don't want Liberals here..at least be upfront and tell us..have the guts to admit it. I would take my money and my time elsewhere..where liberals are appreciated, and respected.

[No, not going well at all.]

This used to be the #1 place on the internet I would go to..now it is my last choice! All because of a small minority who think they run and own DU ! And they seem to get full immunity from their behavior and rule breaking. The impression they give out is that only their opinions and bullying count!

[No money from DUmmie flyarm!]

if you prick that bubble of pompous self-importance unique to the self-appointed middle-managers of political opinion, they squeal like hedgehogs.

[A certain Pompous Pundit's squealing is just a prick away!]

Looks like the post worked quite well. Fundraising goal met BEFORE the Sunday deadline.

[Surprise! $kimmer GOT his $15 in donations after all! Well, blow me down!]

Yep. I think that was the point of his post.

[The truth comes out! $kimmer's post was a PLOY all along from the Big Boy, to guilt you suckers into forking over some of your fraudulent disability checks! Like Skinner really cares what you think!]

the moderation on this site sucks. Plain and simple, it resembles a cross between the "editorial guardianship" in force at Faux News and the old days in Moscow at Pravda.

[Who cares? Skinner got his money, that's what counts!]

It's also interesting to note just how prevalent is the fear of "tombstoning" in these threads and throughout the site. Not healthy; not healthy at all.

[And that was the last post we'll hear from DUmmie TeaBagsAreForCups. . . .]

I just donated. And I have no suggestions.

[Good. That's all that matters.]

DU has been my sanity for 10 years. . . .

[That's a scary thought.]

THANK YOU THANK YOU and THANK YOU, SKINNER XOXOXO

[MM-WUH!!]

They should put you on the Jerry Lewis Telethon, Skinner. Your post saved the day and you got your 1000 pledges. Congratulations.

[WAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!! led to WHEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!]

Thursday, August 19, 2010

"I need some encouragement... my in-laws turned against Obama..."



Let's start with a song today, shall we? Click one of the music links and sing along!

BAD NEWS FOR BARACK
Tune: "Limbo Rock"
Original MIDI

Every lib'ral boy and girl
All the folks in Limbaugh World
Both sides bashing on Barack
All find something they can mock
Track his numbers, track his polls
Track the unemployment rolls
All the pollsters on the block
Say it's bad news for Barack

He'll go lower now
He'll go lower now
How low can he go

First he spread the wealth around
Then he bowed down to the ground
Spend a trillion, make it three
Spend it like it grows on trees
Track his numbers, track his polls
Track the unemployment rolls
All the pollsters on the block
Say it's bad news for Barack

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha

Though he started out on top
Every time the numbers drop
There's a ratings trend that shows
He will fall to record lows
Track his numbers, track his polls
Track the unemployment rolls
All the pollsters on the block
Say it's bad news for Barack

Don't move that phone book far
He needs a polling czar
How low can he go

Yes, that's the question, isn't it? How LOW can he GO? Emperor Zero is going SO low, he's below Ground Zero! And he's taking his party with him! It's "Democratic Underground" with a twist!

Some of the DUmmies are bemoaning the fact that many 2008 Obama voters are now experiencing buyer's remorse, as we see in this
THREAD from DUmmie AzNick, "I need some encouragement... my in-laws turned against Obama..." But other DUmmies are siding with the in-laws! (albeit for opposite reasons).

So let us see if the DUmmies will back Barack or break their back, as they dance under the limp BO poll, in Bolshevik Red, while the commentary of your humble guest correspondent, the wag tailoring the doggerel, Charles Henrickson, needing encouragement because his Cubs are falling even faster in the standings than Obambi is in the polls, is in the [Barackets]:

I need some encouragement...

[Group hug! AzNick needs to turn that frown upside down!]

my in-laws turned against Obama...

[They now are OUTLAWS!]

My entire in-law family has turned against Obama . . .

[The Nazis!]

after they voted for him in 2008.

[Change they can believe in!]

Turns out, they believe all the right-wing rhetoric and fell for all that hate-mongering crap.

[I HATE them! They are DEAD to me!]

So I will go and engage in a good debate with them, either in groups, or one-by-one.

[Try a beer summit.]

I will take time, but I will do my duty.

[Three-finger Scout oath! "On my honor I will DU my DUty. . . ."]

I just had a good talk with my wife, who fell for all that crap.

[Hey, she married you, AzNick, she'll fall for anything!]

The right is managing to turn Americans against Americans.

[So I guess when someone who previously voted RETHUGLICAN "sees the light" and comes over to the DEMOCRATS, that's NOT "turning Americans against Americans"??]

They want a civil war, they really do.

[The DUmmies are ready for the Battle of Bull Run.]

It's insane, absolutely insane.

[The drain insane strays mainly from Hussein. . . . Now let's see if the other DUmmies can cheer AzNick up . . .]

You're coming *here* for help with *that* ???

[Don't look to the DUmmies to cheer you up about Obama! They've turned on him too! AzNick responds . . .]

Believe me, they know me. I told my wife I was going to go and talk to them all, and I know she will call them tomorrow and their reaction will be "oh-ho..."

["Aw jeez, not our crazy son-in-law again!"]

I always get reactions like "Oh, I did not know that... really?"

["I did not know that you are such a dope! Really!"]

I ranted about it. Eventually it's about who yells the loudest.

["You win, loudmouth! We surrender! Now go away!"]

We suck at leading the country, let's face it.

[Oh, we're facing it alright. . . .]

We look like idiots.

[Ding ding ding! Congratulations, AzNick, you win the Kewpie Doll for this moment of self-realization! . . . Now back to your fellow DUmmies . . .]

I do hope that we can all come together and maybe, just maybe, get some goddam ponies in the process.

[With pretty pink manes and tails!]

Just because they are pissed at him doesnt mean they wont vote for him.

[The Prophet Obama, piss be upon him. . . .]

Ill probably vote for him even though he is driving me crazy.

[Thanx for that ringing endorsement!]

No, they are angry-angry, not DU-angry. . . .

[You know how the Eskimos have 27 words for snow. . . ?]

Please don't tell me they dont believe he was born in Hawaii.

[They don't believe he was born ON THIS PLANET!]

the economy is doing worse under him, which is not his fault, but they see it this way.

[All those huge spending bills Congress passed and Obama signed in the last two years? Yep, you guessed it . . . Bush's fault!]

Well he hasnt done much about job creation.

[Although he is putting comedy writers back to work.]

So what right wing crap have they fallen for--socialist, terrorist, marxist?

[Imagine, people thinking those are BAD things!]

Jobs, mosques, oil spill, etc...

[But think of all the JOBS that building mosques and cleaning up oil spills will create!]

Of course, Obama is really doing a bad job at communicating.

[No way! For instance, I think his backing that mosque at Ground Zero--that was a MASTER STROKE!]

WOW. Just... wow!!!

[LOW. How... low... can he go???]

"Obama is building a mosque at Ground Zero"
"Obama is responsilbe for the jobs that disappeared"
"Obama caused the oil spill"
"Obama ceased ALL oil drilling operations in the Gulf"
"Bush left a good economy, Obama ruined it"


[Picky, picky, picky. . . .]

Of course, about the mosque, two words: FIRST AMENDMENT.

[Of course, about the mosque, two words: NINE ELEVEN.]

all that negativity regarding the economy and the bad shape of the nation is turning people against Obama. . . .

[All those Nelly Negatives need to just FORGET the bad economy and the bad shape of the nation--MINOR POINTS! They should look on the BRIGHT side of incompetence and get behind the President!]

So what are their DU usernames? Might save you some car trips.

[Hee! Hee!]

How do you know they voted for President Obama? Did you go into the voting booth with them?

[SOMEBODY voted for the guy! And now scads of them are dropping him like Cubs dropping fly balls!]

One man is not capable of losing all our jobs, creating that kind of deficit in such a short time. . . .

[Hey, he's trying!]

Monday, August 16, 2010

Pitt Predicts Democrat Victories---Bank It!

We all know about the prediction track record of William Rivers Pitt. Remember how dead on he was early this year with his prediction that Martha Coakley would beat Scott Brown in the Senate race from Massachusetts? He was so sure of his prediction, he told us we could "bank it!" And, of course, there is the most famous Pitt prognostication of them all...that Karl Rove would be indicted on May 12, 2006. But hey, he could still be right on that one because 24 business hours have not elapsed. Anyway, with that track record you would figure that Pitt would tend to shy away from making political predictions but, no, he now boldly makes this PREDICTION, "We will keep the House. We will keep the Senate. Obama will be re-elected in 2012." FUnniest of all is what Pitt promises if he is wrong. Hint: It would put a big smile on Ben Burch's face. So let us now watch Pitt once again provide comedy entertainment for us in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, thanking Skinner for allowing Pitt back into DUmmieland to provide lots of great DUFU comedy material, is in the [brackets]:


We will keep the House. We will keep the Senate. Obama will be re-elected in 2012.

[Bank it!]

Bookmark this thread. You can shove it up my ass if I'm wrong.

[Ben Burch just sprained his finger bookmarking this thread.]

I'm not wrong.

[So Karl Rove WAS indicted on May 12, 2006? And now the response from the DUmmie Peanut Gallery...]

Somebody is gonna mention 'business hours' in 5, 4, 3, 2... oh wait, I just did.

[Pitt can run but he can never hide from Hoaxmas Past.]

I've been right a hell of a lot more than I've been wrong. And I will stack my record against anyone's. I like an old joke as much as anyone.

[Actually I can't remember anything that Pitt correctly predicted. Remember those motions filed in an obscure Ohio courthouse that would overturn the 2004 election results that he plugged? Ask President Kerry how well that worked out. Remember, that congressional candidate that Pitt was pushing in Illinois? When that didn't work out Pitt went into a screaming fit about the Democrats paying for a recount.]

I think that they were right about that, though, 48 business hours or not. I think Jason was right and that Will was right.

[Jason and Will were right about Karl Rove being indicted on May 12, 2006...in the Alternate Universe.]

I think that somehow the criminal justice system was manipulated when they found out that the news got out about it and we knew about it beforehand and so they manipulated the system. What does it take to make one phone call in this world anyway? How long does it take to make a single phone call?

[How long before Will starts wondering if it was really a good idea to return to DUmmieland since he is now subjected to open mockery...which Skinner declines to delete?]

We knew what Rove was about -- he was a contestant on "Let's Make A Deal" long after that show had been cancelled. He was guilty and we knew it.
History will record it that way, no matter what the newspapers said about it years ago. Since when did newspapers print the truth, anyway? Last time I saw a newspaper print a breaking story was in 1972. And then they made a movie out of it.

[Right about now, Pitt has to be feeling like Hal the Computer going, "Stop. Please stop. Dave. Stop."]

I also think that Rove had someone reading what Jason was saying and probably even had someone assigned to read these forums at that time.

[Skinner...make him stop. Please stop.]

There was just too much manipulation going on to think that Jason and Will were wrong about that. And I would stand in front of a firing squad to defend them for what they said. Because BushCo was just that fricking bad.

[Please stop the mock. Skinner. Please!]

I also think that Will is right about the House and Senate remaining in the Democrat's hands this fall because 98.2% of the incumbents are being reelected.

[Then why is Ben Burch already drooling over what he will do to Pitt?]

I think you're right, my dear Will... No ass-shoving from me!

[Maybe but Ben Burch already put his "landing gear" in shove mode.]

P.S. Hispanic voters are the largest growing voter bloc is the country. Don't discount this anti-brown-people hatefest on the Right inspiring massive Democratic turnout within that bloc.

[I guess Pitt hasn't heard that MARCO RUBIO is the likely Republican nominee in the Senate race from Florida.]

You should be clear about these things because a printed copy of the thread laminated to some aluminum siding would hurt like hell if was shoved up your ass.

[The DUFU's have already started the lamination to aluminum siding process.]

The Tea Party is making a hash of things for the GOP Electable Republicans are losing primaries because only the hardcore show up for off-season votes. Oh, and if the last 75 years are any guide, incumbents usually win. It's going to be tough, but the Dems will hold on.

[A Pitt prognostication. Bank it...then shove it.]

Is this why you came back-TO FORCE YOUR OPINION down our throats?

[At least you will get to reply up his...]

seriously, do you how dumb your post looks?

[DUmb but FUnnie! I'm already picturing a graphic of Pitt getting his thread shoved up his...]

Oooh! I missed that one! "Martha Coakley will win" --- "bank on it."

"BANK ON IT

"BANK ON IT!"

Why, I could roll about on the floor here for, why, up to TWENTY-FOUR BUSINESS HOURS, that's so good!

[Be prepared for another TWENTY-FOUR BUSINESS HOURS of laughter when Will has to "Shove it!"]

Saturday, August 14, 2010

DUmmies Fantasize Winning Big In November

So how is that Recovery Summer working out for you, DUmmies? All indications are that the Democrats will LOSE big in November. The prospect of big gains by the EVIL Republicans is so hideous to the DUmmies that they are now fantasizing just the opposite, that the Democrats will be the big winners despite the lousy economy and general disgust with The One. You can see this fantasy for yourself in this DUmmie THREAD, "C'mon DU let's get over it and win both houses with a BIG majority in November." If this fantasy sounds familiar, remember the other DUmmie fantasy in which Al Gore was elected president in the Alternate Universe. In any event, at least half the FUn of this November's election will be to watch the DUmmie reaction...assuming that the site does not crash as it did for several days following the November 2002 election when the Democrats did NOT gain any seats in Congress. So let us now watch the DUmmies fantasize winning big in November in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, who came close to being covered in Spaghetti Sauce red this week when he picked up 820 bottles via coupons, is in the [brackets]:

C'mon DU let's get over it and win both houses with a BIG majority in November

[How about if we apply the chloroform-soaked hankie to your nose now so you can wake up on the other side of the November elections? It will be so much less painful that way.]

Like many people I have been frustrated with things not going MY way like single payer healthcare, Gitmo not closing, the extended war in Af. and a slow move out of Iraq etc.

[Don't forget about the economy going even further into the toilet during Recovery Summer.]

However this government HAS made progress and actually has done a lot (although we don't hear about it on television). Many, many things have been passed by Congress to improve the lives of the American. People forget who created the financial crisis and need to be reminded.

[BUSH'S FAULT!!!]

HOWEVER, as long as Democrats left leaning (professional or non professional) or center people splinter and regurgitate RW Newspeak they have to think of the consequences of a huge Republican majority in both houses this fall. Can you imagine what that will mean to this country? None of our agenda will be progressed AT ALL and will be just tossed in a trash can.

[On the plus side, the ensuing mental meltdown in DUmmieland will provide lots of great DUFU comedy material. Now for the fantasies from your fellow DUmmies...]

I did not work hard for a center right prez - but that is what we have. If the Dems want to have majotiry in both houses then perhaps they need to remember who brung 'em and work to pass progressive legislation. Just a thought.

[Getting your excuses lined up already?]

I will donate time and money to candidates who support a progressive agenda. If the Dems lose control of the House or Senate as a result of progressive flight, too bad. Not like they were acting on progressive agendas anyhow. Screw 'em if they can't take a joke!

[So does that mean you won't pick up those artificial cheerleader pom-poms?]

You seem to dismiss the time we had majority of the House, supermajority in the Senate, and the WH. Still... nothing got passed. What more would you expect in the f*cking future?? What we couldn't have is not now in the past.. it is the nature of the party, near as I can tell. Hope pissed on us. I'm going to go wash my clothes, and re-consider what I expect for a vote. Not that it matters... just another peon, literally.

[Hope pissed on you because The One needed someone to "peon."]

nope. I will NOT "hold my nose" and vote dem any longer.

[It would take time away from your keyboard.]

Fending off a GOP majority or even large Republican gains is simply something everyone should be very motivated to work together to stop.

[DUAC! DUAC!]

I love to make Sarah Palin obscure to America, and then maybe put her in jail for some of the things she does and says.

[DUmmie Thought Police fantasizing about criminalizing contrary views.]

I will still get out and vote Democrat myself because returning to Republican rule would be nightmarish.

[You will be FUn to watch on Nov. 3.]

Thursday, August 12, 2010

"The Ick Factor."



One of the favorite things your typical DUmmie loves to do is to position him-, her-, or itself as a member of a persecuted minority. Victim Status allows one to claim moral superiority and take great umbrage and be in high DUdgeon over slights and offenses, real or perceived. It's so much better than being one of those boring old plain white people, who are inherently guilty--of being plain and white.

And so DUmmie withywindle tries to claim the moral high ground and lay a guilt trip on her fellow DUmmies, here in this
THREAD, "The Ick Factor."

So all you members of the oppressor class, prepare to flagellate yourselves, as we take a penitential pilgrimage through DUmmieland. The DUmmie comments are in Bolshev-Ick Red, while the commentary of your humble guest correspondent, Charles Henrickson, a straight white Christian male looking forward to a full day of oppressing, is in the [brackets]:

The Ick Factor.

[Ick bin ein Born Looney.]

I still see posts here from people who say they don't "like" gay marriage. . . .

[Here come the Thought Police! Ick your hands up!]

or don't want to see those queers doing PDA in their public space. . . .

[They're putting their Palm Pilots in their pubic regions?? Ick!]

Truth is, many, many people feel something like an "ick factor" when living with "The Other."

[Truth is, many DUmmies are living with "The Mother."]

I'm a woman who's had male partners. . . .

[That's a switch!]

male partners who act like feminine hygiene products are garlic and they're vampires. . . .

[They're Tampires.]

I'm like, holy sh*t, I'm 41 and I've used this stuff every month since I was 12, it doesn't get anymore normal and mundane.

[Period. End of story.]

I'm a bi-ethnic person. . . .

[OK, DUmmie withywindle, so you had a great-great-whatever-grandmother four generations back who was a Cherokee squaw, and that makes you "bi-ethnic," big deal. . . .]

I'm a bi-ethnic person who has spent WAY too much time listening to people who assume I"m "white" like them. . . .

[No, no, ANYTHING but that! Don't you DARE call me "white"!!]

and so feel free to go on at great length about those ICKY "others" and their smelly food . . .

[They even do the Icky Sniffle.]

and weird accents.

[Icky Words.]

And apparently some people acting as concern trolls to defend the honor of Ground Zero seem to think that sacred ground is hopelessly desecrated forever if there are icky, creepy Muslims praying near it.

[Just a guess, but maybe that would remind them of the icky, creepy Muslims who flew planes into the buildings that used to be there. Some folks might find that to be a tad offensive.]

What I'm asking with this thread is, if you're over 12, please examine your own thought processes and get yourself OVER your gut-level, emotional, kneejerk, irrational ick factors. . . .

[If you're WHITE and STRAIGHT, you're GUILTY!]

If a particular group gives you the "ick" ASK YOURSELF WHY . . .

[And then start flagellating! Or else create some Victim Status for yourself, like I did.]

and then educate yourself about what that group is really about before you go spewing ignorant and hurtful crap all over an allegedly progressive board.

[Lecture over. Guilt Trip laid. We're all closet homophobes, womanphobes, islamophobes, raceophobes . . . well, Ickophobes.]

Thank you.

[No, thank YOU, DUmmie withywindle! You've made us feel nice and guilty, or, alternately, morally superior over those nasty Ickophobes!]

After examining the Ick I feel about teabagging Taliban repubs, I now know it's cause I''m sane. . . .

[It's OK to feel icky about the teabaggers.]

some adults are as emotionally mature as 6 year olds scared of 'cooties'.They need to get over themselves NOW.

[The Ickophobes have cooties! The Ickophobes have cooties! . . .]

I remember how hurtful the 'cootie' games were when I was little. I grew up in an area that was pretty isolated and right-wing, and the playground bullying was all about "ick factor." It was classist, racist, homophobic, sexist, you name it. . . .

[Cootist. Ickophobic.]

if something unpopular with the majority makes you feel queasy, don't say so. Because only the majority opinion matters and the rest is icky.

[Don't herald ickies.]

That poster is feeling persecuted . . .

[Which makes him a persecuted minority! So don't icky him!]

because the majority opinion on DU (which I agree with) is that it's not OK to banish Muslims from building a community center (open to all) in Lower Manhattan. Because. You know. Nine-eleven.

[Oh, that old thing! Why can't people get over it and move on!]

"Public Display of Affection." That's what PDA stands for. You see it all the time everywhere--couples holding hands, kissing, displaying pictures of each other on their desks at work. Some people think that gay or lesbian couples doing what straight couples have always taken for granted is "rubbing homosexuality in their faces."

[benburch is all in favor of rubbing homosexuality in his face. . . . Ick! Did I just say that??]

You make a good point. The same 'breaking of empathy' I mentioned that thinking of thoughts of being in some group can cause. Can occur by calling other people that like being in those groups vampires. There was a long post about bankers being vampires, and it comments on how some groups can use ideas of superiority to break empathy. But calling those very people vampires really can do the same thing, break empathy. So most people do the same things, so maybe finding why people feel certain ways and trying to help them understand, while trying to learn to understand, if that is how you or they want to feel might be better. So after thinking on your post, I should say, when I comment on topics like some groups living off other people, it is not to say that we all do not do that to some degree, but mentioning it with the intent of concepts of maybe bringing some moderation into how a person lives and by that helping many people, as many rich and elite people do... even if vamps. LOL Although I hope I don't say hurtful things, I do wonder if some might see some things as that way. The whole concept probably applies to your topic of post also, although not sure exactly how, it probably does from both sides thinking about the other sides. Which is what I think you said. But you bring up a funny point about being childish, and am glad you posted and am thinking on that general topic. Here is the funny thing. I am already owed compensation. I know that, actually spent years just thinking on that topic to be sure. Yet guess what, by knowing that fact, I wont chase the carrot, and that gives no enjoyment to unjust things. Why would, when already owed, why would a person do the same things to try and get what they already have? And from my observations that pisses off some things that want me to run in circles. Once I have deduced I already have things, then it would be silly to do things to try and get those things again. And many call that being childish, or say things like it is whining about things. On the contrary, ha, I don't have to chase the carrot, the carrot is already mine, and if it is kept away, then it shows the fault of the thing that keeps it away, not my fault for it not being here. And I won't play their game, which gives me much laughter. And part of that game is not thinking that I can just make the carrot appear, on the contrary weather the carrot is hear or not, it is mine, and that is enough to know, since that is within my control, and if something wants to be unjust and keep it away, that is there choice.

[zzzzzzzzzzz............ $10 to anyone who could make it through DUmmie RandomThoughts's post without nodding off.]

Rachel Maddow likes to say that it's the other person's problem is they "get skeezed out" thinking about gays and lesbians getting married.

[Rachel Mancow is scuzzed out.]

I personally get skeezed out by imagining dumpy old right-wing men having sex. . . .

[Believe me, we won't have it with you DUmpy old DUmmie women!]

I'm a dumbass!

[Sorry, being a DUmbass does NOT qualify you as a persecuted minority in DUmmieland.]

I just get really, really f***ing bummed out by various flavors of bigotry on DU.

[Except for the 31 flavors of Bashin' on Republicans.]

I am still working on getting any bigotry out of my system . . .

[You need an enemy enema!]

not there yet but getting there.

[Needs more self-flagellation!]

No one has fully excised it. I sure haven't.

[Ich bin ein Ickophobe.]

I have always done the shopping for my wife and I since we were married. I can't imagine why any man would be so icked-out about buying those products.

["Yes, I'd like to have five Kotex, three Tampax, and one douche, please! In a clear plastic bag, so the whole WORLD can see what a wuss I am!"]

The only difficult thing about it is the enormous variety available on the shelves. . . .

["Let's see, do I want the 'Summer Breeze' or the 'Minty Fresh'?"]

People need to grow up!!!!

[People need to throw up!!!!]

DAYUM!!! People are KICKIN ASS on this board tonight!!! WHAT YOU SAID!!! IS SO PROFOUND!!! OMG!!! This is among the best posts I've seen around here in a LOOOOOOONG time!

[TRY THE DECAF!!!]

Tuesday, August 10, 2010

DUmmies FURIOUS at Gibbs for "professional left" slam!



Oh, the DUmmies are MAD!! They are LIVID, FURIOUS, UP IN ARMS!!! SOMEBODY SHOOK UP THE ANTS!!!

What has got them riled up so? Or should I say, WHO has got them riled? None other than Baghdad Bob Gibbs, the Boy President's mouthpiece. You see, in an interview out today, Gibbs has berated what he calls the "professional left" for being overly critical of Mr. Wonderful. Says they must be on drugs or something, they so crazy.

WELL, this is not sitting well with the denizens of DUmmieland, needless to say. The DUmmies are angry at GIBBS for being angry at THEM for being angry at OBAMBI! Got it? It's a circle of anger! Right now the Ant Farm is ABUZZ with venom and vitriol directed toward Gibbs and His Nibs. Hundreds of posts, lots of threads! We'll pick one to look at, this
THREAD, "White House unloads anger over criticism from 'professional left’ (They "ought to be drug tested")."

So buckle up, we're entering the fiery furnace that is DUmmieland in heat, in Red Hot Red, while the commentary of your humble guest correspondent, Charles Henrickson, asking you to please pass the popcorn, is in the [brackets]:

White House unloads anger over criticism from 'professional left’ (They "ought to be drug tested")

[This must be the BUSH White House you're referring to, right?]

The White House is simmering with anger at criticism from liberals who say President Obama is more concerned with deal-making than ideological purity.

[The OBAMA White House?? How can this be??]

During an interview with The Hill in his West Wing office, White House press secretary Robert Gibbs blasted liberal naysayers, whom he said would never regard anything the president did as good enough.

[Just a guess, Bob, but I'm thinking your little interview will have the effect of a red cape being waved in front of a bull.]

“I hear these people saying he’s like George Bush.”

[Barack McSame Obama.]

“Those people ought to be drug tested,” Gibbs said.

[I think they are ready to provide urine samples at your office, Bob.]

The press secretary dismissed the “professional left”. . . .

["PROFESSIONAL" left?? More like the "LOONEY" Left!]

“They will be satisfied when we have Canadian healthcare and we’ve eliminated the Pentagon.”

[Well, you're well on the way, Bob! Just tell them to be patient.]

“That’s not reality.”

[And here I thought DUmmieland was the Reality-Based Community®!]

Of those who complain that Obama caved to centrists on issues such as healthcare reform, Gibbs said: “They wouldn’t be satisfied if Dennis Kucinich was president.”

[Wee Willie Pitt would be satisfied if he could serve as Kookcinich's press secretary again.]

Just last week, MSNBC host Rachel Maddow described Obama political adviser David Axelrod as a “human pretzel” for his explanation of the administration’s position on gay marriage.

[Doesn't "gay marriage" REQUIRE one to be a "human pretzel"?]

“There’s 101 things we’ve done,” said Gibbs. . . .

[Played golf. Gone on vacation. Played golf. Held a beer summit. Played basketball. . . .]

The lack of appreciation or recognition for what Obama has accomplished has left Gibbs and others in furious disbelief.

[And THAT, in turn, infuriates the DUmmies! Let's take a small sample of the over 600 (and counting) raging replies on this thread alone . . .]

I'll have to remember this when the next fund raising letter arrives.

[Return to sender . . .]

I got the begging campaigning call awhile back and let the chirpy little debutante from the DNC know, in no uncertain terms, that I now support PROGRESSIVE candidates only. NEVER again will I contribute to the general till that funds blue dogs. I finished up by letting her know that's how we f* retards plan to do business from now on.

[I'll take that as a "no."]

I got a call from the DNC last month asking for donations too. My response to her was, I support the Democrat Party, but I do not support the DNC.

[There's a DNC cap on donations.]

Uh, that would be "Democratic Party". There is no "Democrat Party".

[Oops! "Democrat" Party is the sign of a LOUSY FREEPER TROLL!!!]

Apparently the "ic" is to be jettisoned. It sounds like Gibbs wants the "professional left", that is the "icky" part of the Obama base, to go away.



You won't be very happy either when the pukes win. Which will happen if progressives get too pure.

[Purity Of Obsolescence (P.O.O.)]

Health Care is a Crisis! War is a Crisis! The Economy is a Crisis! The President needs to grow a pair and say to congress, "Since you won't fix it, I will!"

[The President's Undescended Testicles is a Crisis!]

It is an Armageddon of an Orwellian Corporatocracy v we the people of this country. . . . Cutting to the heart of the problem and calling a spade a spade; Drawing the battle lines so to speak. . . . One big tool is to stop calling ourselves progressives. . . . Lending itself to easy red herrings and straw men, barn sized targets to shoot down. . . . A move that could only level more, the playing field and shed the brightest light on what is truly going on in this country.

[DUmmie ooglymoogly, you win the Mixed Metaphors on Steroids Post of the Day Award!]

Talk is cheap. Stay home this November.

[Yes, please DU!]

Don't stay home, that is just plain silly. You have to get out and vote. . . .

[Oh, I suppose you're right. Civic duty and all that. Forget what I just said, DUmmies. Get out there and VOTE on November 3!]

they absolutely never learn and this should tell you the temperature of the white house, the ease with which they say things like this. Obama is no liberal, no leftie, he has contempt for us to allow this culture of thought to exist. and what a masterstroke of timing, to say something like this to an already apparently tepid base before elections. bravo, you b*st*rds. *you* should be drug tested.

[Obambi took the Stupid Pill.]

huffingtonpost says he's apologizing, his comments 'unartful'

[Or is it 'inartful' or 'disartful' or 'not full of art' or . . . ?]

they do this and then send an apology to make sure that they get their point out and then pull back their own arms before they get bit off. . . . Unless of course, they are as incompetent and stupid as I think they are.

[That IS a strong possibility.]

So is the apology due to 'unartfulness'. . . ?

['Nonartfultality.']

"Can't contribute. Need to save my money for drug testing."
Signed,
Member of the Professional Left


[Hee! Hee!]

Let's see how much they enjoy taking shots at progressives when they can't raise any cash from us.

[Not that any of you HAVE any cash. . . .]

Gibbs is talking like those RWers we ridicule. Something in the water??

[Teabags?]

i hate to be a debbie downer, but i just dont think party or even ideology matter anymore. we are all being played.

[Debbie Does DUmmieland.]

the folks that helped get them elected, they want to insult. Two words come to mind one starts with an "F" and the next one starts with a "Y".

[FUn! Yes!]

really, this statement is the last straw.

[Until the next straw.]

I get tired of the bus tire marks on my face.

[That's why you're tired.]

Gibbs & Emanuel: Progressives are not merely retarded, but crazy and drug-addled. . . .

[Sorry, Gibbs & Emanuel, you are not eligible for a Kewpie Doll.]

Professional left? Odd. I didn't know I could make a living at this.

[Is that you, Will Pitt?]

I want my $25 back. . . .

[You're only $25 away from getting your $25 back.]

I don't drink latte' so I best turn in my Official Professional Librul card.

[Join the Tea Party.]

I am pissed at their swipe of Kucinich. Many on the left, including myself, view him as one of our heroes. . . .

[Kookcinich would WELCOME our alien visitors!]

Very very bitter. . . .

[Clinging to your drugs and paganism.]

Proud member of the F'ing Retarded Drug Addled Progressives Club of the “professional left”

[This DUmmie has a marijuana plant as his avatar, so I believe him.]

Give Gibbs his due.

[Give Gibbs his DU!]

Undisciplined political MORONS!!

[Unartful MORANS!]

I wash my hands of these ass clowns.

[Is that you, benburch?]

Obama needs to understand that the far left is NOT his friend. They never were, they never will be. They are no one's friend, but are only self-absorbed in their own perceived righteousness that they defend with faux indignation.

[OK, DUmmie Gman, YOU win today's Kewpie Doll! Congratulations!]

I won't support someone simply because they wear a D on their chest.

[Oh, I don't know. I would support someone who wears a D on her chest. Even a C.]

I'm not a "professional liberal." In fact, I'm not a professional anything....I'm un-employed.

[Unjobful.]

Dump Gibbs and bring back Van Jones

[Back up the Van!]